Monday, July 23, 2012
Fun and heart-wrenching at the same time. I felt I might vomit (similar to pre-race nerves) for her as her turn at vault came closer. Then I didn't get to see most of beam and none of floor as I was wrangling toddler (a jaw-clenching task).
Post-meet, when I asked her how she felt about her performance, she piped, "good, great! where are we eating?" Not a word about scores, and I had to literally bite my tongue to keep from bringing up numbers. Some parents were already keeping close track of scores, while I forgot to watch for them. My thoughts and feelings surprise me, competition and perfectionism reappear. It occurred to me as I caught one of Miss Monkey's scores, that I don't want to look, it made me feel ill again. When I'm on a road trip, on a long bike ride, or run, I flat refuse to look at mileage until I'm certain the odometer, or "distance to" sign will show something I can feel good about. These scores feel the same, I don't want to know the scores until there's something there she wants to be proud for, and I'm concerned that she'll immediately tie too much importance to her scores as compared with other girls'. Primarily, I want her to have fun exploring all the strength and amazing things her body can do. When, or if ever, she wants to be perfect I will support her in that, but she's 6 now, she's a little girl and there's more to numbers and competition in life.
Here are the videos, in order of event. It was interesting to listen to what she said about what she could do better.