Having run off together through Mexico and points beyond, then living on 3 of Hawaii's islands, we have moved to Beauteous Colorado. Adventuring about, experiencing everything fully. Our family of five, frolicking famously here for friends, family & foundlings.
This is first full day of second grade photo....it's not exactly what I had in mind.
I had to bodily pull her back out of the car after this photo, then having deposited her at the HSC director's desk with a comment on how Exciting my morning had been, said, "I love you, have a great day." Some possible reasons she was a feeling irritated: She chose not to eat breakfast She has her first soccer practice today The sun was shining She's simply nervous and scared and isn't very good about processing it.
After a storm there are rainbows. I had several phone calls and a
surprise visit from The Man, I took small actions toward
mitigating the chaos, and started to feel better. That momentum built
a good finish to the day and into the next. Amazing how prayer works, even simply in the asking for help there is peace.
There were no giant altercations betwixt the girls, the baby was
typical happy baby, and I got some more done with the house. I forget that effectively we just moved in. Moving, remodeling, requires patience of process.
Grateful for the dojo as an added accountability for The Firstborn and her behavior.
Grateful on the way home this evening we chased a rainbow. F was so excited trying to figure out how to reach the end of that rainbow, I thoroughly enjoyed discussing strategy with her, negotiating where we should turn or of it was fading.
Grateful for puzzle time with the Second born and soccer time with her sister, grateful for my ability to feed my baby and share my milk, most of all grateful for the abundance we love and live in.
I've stepped away briefly to grab clothing or my phone, and she's pushed the limits--especially mine. Its hard to rein in a mama-bear reaction hearing an infant scream, even if it's focused on another of my own children.
One morning i caught her BANGING her sister's baby doll on the kitchen table. She is apparently jealous and expresses herself, "I'm feeling sad/mad about the baby" or "i don't WANT the baby on your lap/nursing!".
We need to edit in some extra anger outlets it seems (into my subroutines as well?). She colored an Angry Picture yesterday after the most recent incident. Doesn't help me feel any more confident abut leaving her with him even if he's in the crib, even if its for an instant. "Ah, mi. Patience!" Cries the mother.
This is just one day, one of many that have passed and that will come. This particular day we're lucky to survive. On another day all will be most evidently well with all facets, giggles will abound and happiness doesn't disguise itself with challenges.
Feeling pretty weary at the moment. Breathe, pray, repeat.
I suppose this is my comeuppance for her chosen consequences from last weekends' utter atomic melt down tantrum.
She only just started to feel the reality of her choice to not play with little friends all week. The other choice was to stay home and work with her Papa all day Saturday, skipping a birthday party. We only came to the conclusion of giving her a choice after almost an hours' deliberation. In addition to that choice, she had to clean up the great mess she made of her sister's bed and their room, AND she's yet to figure out how to pay Ms. J for her impromptu sittering service.
I'm indebted to that lovely woman for backing me up when I needed to get out. All mamas should have an emergency phone-a-friend.