Sunday, September 30, 2012

Tragedy of Feline Porportions

Yesterday 4am my alarm going off as it always does but I have been responding to it rarely.  I frankestein-monster myself downstairs to catch it before everyone is awake.  It was playing Awake My Soul by Mumford & Sons.
I heard a ruckus outside, cat yowls and crashing.  Siddius Kittius didn't come in when I called him, after I stuck my head outside & called once hearing the noises again, I figure I had better go out and see what's up.  I paused to put on boots, hoodie, grab flashlight.

Outside in the moonless early morning, I "skskskss" again for the cat, sense a motion off to the left, shine the light.  A pair of glowing marbles look back at me and the shadow begins to lope away as I approach the scene.

Poor Siddius, curled slightly, breathing shallow, not moving.  I picked him up and brought him inside, went to wake The Man.

On our tile his breaths continued to be shallow for a bit, he eventually calmed and appeared to sleep.  He knew he was safe.

The Man & I debated at length about what to do, the prohibitive cost of repairing a cat vs. the less prohibitive prospect of euthanize of course Miss Monkey had to be involved.  Siddius never moved from the place I laid him, we wrapped him and re-wrapped him.  He was in pain, let out a groaning sigh now and then.

We woke Bigger Little Girl and told her what happened.  The Man and she prepped to go to a local 24 hour vet clinic I had to stay behind as Toddleator E has been experiencing a rather daunting fever.

Off they went to say final good-byes to Darth Siddius, we were all sobbing off an on.

And the grieving began.  I miss that little cat's presence over and over and over.  He was an incredibly sweet cat.  Attacking feet, chewing on toes, knocking things off the counter and sill chasing flies, chasing dogs out on the path, he'd come running running running when I sat out to call him in after a ramble.  Porter misses him, they played Bite-Face-Huggie-Paw the last time as a friend & I looked on chatting about pros/cons of letting cats out.

Repetitively all day with Miss Monkey talking about feelings, "I feel so sad...", that it's normal & natural to feel sad because we loved him so very much.  Letting her emote in her own way, completely.  I think the habit is too much to stop  it, to attempt to fix it, to medicate with with distraction.  These feelings are necessary to allow the moments to pass in a healthy way, eventually the hurt will subside if we feel all the way into it.

More later on this, and last pic or vid when I find it.  Right now I've a gymnast to rangle.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Cheesey goodness

Oh the rewards of bravery with their "pokes" this week. Courageously she choose to get vaccs all done at one time instead of going back for repeat (therefore little sis did too).
We delayed a lot longer than the recommended schedule.
Doc complemented our diet & sleep habits, as well as the mental prepping I had done with them about the shots.  You see, I won't lie to my kids, my line is "yes, it will probably hurt, but it will pass and I will be with you the whole time."

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Sunday, September 9, 2012

First week--Done!

Yay for us!

The week went as intended, with little to no resistance from Miss Monkey and only one serious outburst from Toddleator E.  I'm glad activities were layering through the past couple of weeks rather than all at once, that would've been overwhelming.  Completed beginning Language Arts stories, though I may have to adapt for her advanced nature with writing, and get the key word journal set up proper.  Mid-week will probably be a Home day in entirety because as the first week was an indication we'll really need the break from running about on Monday & Tuesday.  Here's to intention that we'll be successful keep it "sacred" so to speak.

Toddleator started with the  Enrichment Center which she calls, "Mine school! wiff Mine Friends!"  A few hours that Firstborn and I get to spend together alone, maybe adventuring, maybe hangin' at the library.  And I have to add a Wow! to our local library system, can drop books at any county library, and check them out as well with the same card---Cool! 

Miss Gymnast-Monkey had her very first official USAG meet this weekend.  She was crushed that she didn't win a thing.  Tough competition with almost 100 other little girls all doing the same routine, some of them doing the same level the second year, I understand.  But F, she doesn't understand yet.  I knew it was coming, and I knew it would be dramatic.  She still hasn't asked about her scores, and I'm not going to bring it up unless she wants to start down that path.  We did video her so she could see her performance.  She works so hard, and all of a sudden it was "I hate meets!  I don't wanna do gymnastics anymore."  All in her processing, it came out as somewhat beligerent emotional vomiting on the way home.  We decided to let her sleep on it and then re-visit as needed.  And I'll have to search for children's books that address via storyline the aspects of competition, win or lose.

Happy weekend!
: )

she really was happier than she looks
happy girl!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Miss Monkey Knit

She's definitely enjoying the finger knitting much more than crochet!

A shift

And then there's a shift...some taste in the air, just a tinge of palpable temperature or moisture.  Not so much to do with getting school running again, the prepping, the excitement, the anticipation.  This is an inward knowing that the summer is moving on.  Out the window this morning, while Miss Monkey practices handwriting and we chat about Little Falcon's story, I enjoy the proof that autumn is slowly making her presence known.

There's always a part of me that resists, and there's a part that is excited to see what happens next, of course there's a balance (generally).  I've learned that with each moment, seasonal passage, each phase of life's dynamic equilibrium, when I'm fully present stretching out and feeling into all the crevices of passing moments I am less likely to mourn the passage of time.  I'm not perfect at this practice cause perfection doesn't exist the way we may think.  Practice makes progress, and I'm all about progress.  I'm incredibly thankful that I have this insight so early in my lifespan.
Happy day!
: )

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Some Enki notes

"...growth is a process of moving from the known to the unknown, which entails working with dynamic tensions."

Body, speech, and mind....
all three awarenesses are part of the human experience at all times from birth to death. However, there is a flavor or texture that underlies the quality of learning and growing in each phase....all the are always part of us, we will only have the automatic, open access to the full scope of each awareness in its own time....during this time it is our job to nourish and strengthen the capacity; only then will we be free to draw on each gift as needed in adulthood.

...there are always moments of gap or fertile space, in which virtually anything is possible.when we notice and make use of these they become times of grace--when growth and change are possible in any capacity, regardless of history.

When Learning becomes collection, not connection--delight is lost.

...conceptual work actually undermines the full physical/neurological development, experience of wholeness, and the ability to openly absorb the natural tasks and gifts odd early childhood...highly academic program because focus is on building foundation which all academic learning depends.

Ransom Box Update

Hooray for the newest mechanism of empowering my kiddos to take care of their things and make contributions to the household!  I *heart* the Ransom Box!
Miss Marvelous Monkey chose to do SEVEN ransoms t'other day.  Included wiping baseboards, 10 hugs n' kisses for Mama saying "Only Turkeys leave their toys out," wiping inside of vehicle, reading quietly for 15 minutes in her room, cleaning windows/mirrors upstairs, and a couple others.  It's easier and more fun when my reaction to her ransom demand is smiling dramatic incredulity, "What?  that's not fair!  you always pull things you like to do!"  She completed them all in reasonable time and chose 7 items out of the box to replace in our newly organized play/craft room.

Even Toddleator E is in on the game, though she struggles a little with the requirement of doing something in order to get what she wants from the box.  Of course in her case I might modify the demand, making it somewhat simpler.  The last slip she drew was yelling "I love my mama, she takes care of me!" 10 5 times.

This weekend I will prep for starting our first month of home's-cool, and The Man and I will celebrate a little for our 9th anniversary.  Happy holiday weekend!
: )

Owl Pellet!

Sunglasses used for scale, replete with bones amidst wadded fur.

Neat-O.  Of course Miss Monkey wants to keep it, and so it sits on the patio drying on a piece of foil, awaiting future investigation.