Having run off together through Mexico and points beyond, then living on 3 of Hawaii's islands, we have moved to Beauteous Colorado. Adventuring about, experiencing everything fully. Our family of five, frolicking famously here for friends, family & foundlings.
I knew before it was confirmed by doctor (of course), and had felt so good I wasn't sure I was correct except for that big missing red flag. Interesting though how my mind might try and trick me just because I hadn't had "a professional" tell me what my body (and spirit) already knew.
One morning totally random dry heaving...mentioned to The Man, who, while in shock and some periodic discomforting disbelief, handled it in stride. I was in some denial as well because of this surprise, but the signs were unmistakable. Eventually, we made it to an OB appointment to chat with Doc and have a quickie ultrasound to peek-a-boo everything is in perfect order (per usual). There was some discussion about "advanced maternal age" which is some quasi-arbitrary standard by which the medical establishment appears to push more testing and fear into pregnant momma minds. We said, thank you and NO thank you, to that fear based mindset, all is well, and will continue to be so.
Miss Monkey is totally excited, loudly announcing and re-re-announcing to everyone we know, and trying sometimes to get strangers to ask after the subject by petting and hugging an kissing my newly (barely) protruding belly. That was a short while go, now I'm fully into "beer gut" phase---the phase when, to the unpracticed youthful eye it looks like I've been hanging around keggers for a few months too long.
Toddleator E is somewhat aware of what's happening mostly due to her big sister's example. Both The Man & I have remarked that it's almost as if she knew she was a middle well before this occurrence she's exceedingly silly and innocently sweet (most especially when her sister is misbehaving). I am intermittently concerned about her adjustment this spring, but know that that is out of my hands mostly. I will simply do my best to be present with her in some simple ritual every day (like naptime has become).
Another word for God is "SURPRISE!" and we are so blessed I can't be grateful enough. Another spring time baby, our timing must be a little off though as this one seems to be slated for late May rather than early---I'll have to take this up with The Man.
From our Christmas Mindfulness Questions
Day 1: What does Christmas really mean to me?
Truly before I had a baby it meant more about gifting and generosity than spiritually. Now that I have personal understanding of the miraculous gift of life and consciousness Christmas takes on new meaning for me. Especially since we have such a wonderful spiritual community to share it all with the whole season has snapped into a new dimension. I still get a big charge from gifting to friends and family, I love surprising someone with a gift that has been brewing in my mind for months. I adore shopping for Toys for Tots drives, and the Angel Trees. It's so fun to model generosity, to get excited, and keep the "gimmees" away. This year, without means, I had to surrender any expectation of what I might purchase, work with The Man about how much/when/what we would purchase (practicing Unity of Purpose)---I couldn't plan a thing, surrendering totally on yet another level. Would that I had infinite supply at my disposal in the form of money all the time and I might try and gift everyone all year long. I want to do more, I always have wanted to do more, be of service in a bigger way. Fortunately I recognize the power of the Spoken Word (b.k.a. prayer) and I do have an infinite immediate supply of prayerful abundance words for the world. (got a thrill of joyful goosebumps just now)
I know the history of Christmas celebration, the cobbling together of all the pagan/christian/roman/nordic symbolism that has become what we covet today, and I bring it lightly into conversation with my kiddos so they'll understand the history and significance rather than doggedly following without understanding. I really appreciate and identify with the symbolism of re-birth of Christ Consciousness, our highest self, newly created, newly arrived, completely un-spoilt, beautiful, brilliant and wondrous---the way we all are when we first arrive here. That's what "keeping Christmas well" throughout the year means to me, embodying that loving, compassionate, high consciousness every day of the year. We don't have to let the outside material world determine the inside, we can reclaim this newly birthed beauty every moment, every day by simply getting still and Knowing the I AM is within always and all ways.
From our 12 days of Christmas Mindfulness Questions:
Day 4: What from the past year do I need to let go of?
The financial mistakes we've made---and I release them with joy and gratitude for lessons learned, looking forward to working within our means for the future.
After more than 2 years of trying to fix it-fix it-fix it NOW, and effectively martyring ourselves on the debt we owed we finally admitted we were powerless over our situation, what we’d been trying hadn’t
worked, the situation was truly unmanageable. Then we came to believe that we needed Higher Guidance, prayerfully made a
decision to turn the solution and outcome over to God. We’ve taken an extensive inventory of our
debtors, and of our property, which when written out was horrifically out of
balance. I gratefully realized we’ve been living pretty darn responsibly, having bought
nothing new that we couldn’t find used or cheaper for several years now. We’ve sat with The Lawyer and confessed all
our shortcomings, signed all the paperwork, and asked that the shortcomings be
reorganized, and relieved (b.k.a. Chapter 13). Our
amends will be in the form of payments to a trustee over the next years, additionally, continued
living amends to our financial relationship, and our relationship with each
other in regards to finances. Going
forward we’ll seek to understand what we need, to make an abundance plan (b.k.a. budget), and
prayerfully & meditatively act within our means.
Happy days ahead, debt free!
: ) A
p.s. I confess it feels incredible to know that gifts this year are paidfor in full already, there will be no haunting of Christmas Past for 2013.
I do plan to write, I expect to write, I intend to write...then I jot down ideas I want to hit upon, then life happens and I get involved. This morning I figure I'd sit and write then had to take out the recycles 'cause my timing has been off for the past month or more--I finally had to phone the company to ensure I had the correct days on the calendar. Follow that snowy trip to the curb with a realization that the garage was totally out of hand, I was compelled to reorganize, and finally I'll Today though there's big snowy weather, and while we're not trapped by any means, I can make good on my intentions with just an hour, and I'll feel better having gotten an outlet for some creativity. It's less than a week to Christmas, we've enjoyed a too-brief visit from the grandparents (due to ensuing snow storm), the shopping is complete as far as children are concerned, and there are gingerbread houses & cookies sitting around thanks to Grandma. Now that there is some real snow, I'm happily in holiday mode.
To our quietly simple Thanksgiving holiday (that I kept meaning to post about).
Thanks given all around, it was too fun reveling in the sweetness of talkative and excited little girls at our small overflowing table. It was a blessing and we are blessed.
Many topics to address as much has happened, I know I'll get on this eventually, what with new pregnancy it seems even small things are pretty tiring lately.