Tuesday, April 23, 2013
There's snow outside again. Colorado springtime means fat snowflakes fluffing all over my truck. Frenetic behavior of the weather one never knows if it'll be snow boots or Toms---I remember being so confused our first spring here. So, we've been installed in the house for little more than a week. The kitchen is mostly in place, and other rooms are falling into order around that hub. But only barely falling into order. There are boxes that won't be unpacked until the walls are painted, or there are shelves and cubbies to store items. Some boxes are such low priority I don't expect to see them until Christmas. The floors turned out beautifully, and though the fumes were almost unbearable for a few days (for me), it's been lovely getting accustomed to the gentle distinctive creaks. There is much work to be done improving the place, The Man has all kinds of plans and ideas. He's alternately infuriated and excited about his self-described "new toy". I imagine he's somewhat stressed out with the very idea of owning outright considering he's the bread winner right now. With me rolling around, nearly ready to pop, I'm not much use when it comes to unpacking. I can really only point and direct boxes to their proper and logical locations.
I've only just today started to check in on supplies for Baby. Really beginning to feel a bit of mental pressure to prepare. Shockingly, when I sorted through the outsized/seasonal item bin, I found only four gender neutral items that would work for an infant. FOUR. Two short-sleeve onesies (one stained but wearable), and two pair of overalls. The rest of the items were iddy-biddy dresses for 18m little girl, and a few bigger-girl items I handed immediately to Miss monkey to distribute. Gratefully diapers are totally taken care of, though I'd probably do well to get a shortlist together including newborn onesies and a few newborn pre-folds. Then there are bigger ticket items that will postpone easily enough (Ergo carrier), or those I need to retract from friends, sadly. All will come together though and in due time.
In the mean time, here's a mandala that Miss Monkey designed and colored of her own accord.
|F 2013 April|
Thursday, April 11, 2013
The Elder of The Two didn't want to wake pleasantly, or at all, this morning, and I refused to hang around trying to convince her otherwise. Then began the slamming of doors.
So, I devised a training session. The Younger of The Two and I would walk across to Starbucks, get some brunchy fun snacks. The Elder missed out.
When we came back, Miss Monkey was lamentable and tragic as expected. I empathized with her though she would accept none of it. She got it in her head to go on her own. She grabbed her money, donned her Easter shoes and headed down the sidewalk.
And *gasp* I didn't follow her. Breathe. Pray. Repeat. Not that I could follow in my gravid state, to engage would've created a physical altercation, in which I am unwilling to participate.
She made it as far as the intersection (50 yds or so), hung around the fence line. I could see her, though she didn't see me. And I have it that she was looking to see who would follow.
She returned to change her shoes, left again in an entitled huff. Made it just as far, returned again to tell me how I'm a Terrible Mother, and jogged back toward her ultimate goal again. This last time she was gone for almost 20 minutes. 20 loooong Mommy Minutes.
I phoned everyone who knows Love & Logic....because what's next? I even considered stretching my resources to instill a big scare from the Police, kinda grateful it didn't come to that.
When I began the phone call to a retired neighbor in our ex-townhouse unit, asking if he would take a walk and let me know where he spotted her, there she came walking from t'other direction back to Miss J's. Her attitude hadn't much improved, but the door slamming wasn't quite as vehement.
She never made it to Starbucks. Knowing exactly where she was safe, she never crossed the road. (grateful mommy) My guess, she stuck pretty close in to the Townhomes she's become so familiar with these past 2.5 years (grateful again).
|perpetrator of drama|
There will be a conversation later today, maybe tomorrow latest, regarding the situation without a total rehash lecture. It's been a challenge with the upheaval of moving and the uncertainty of when we'll be in our house. I'm so very very thankful for the skills I've gained parenting, I didn't engage, I didn't lose my temper, I used all my L&L phrases + empathy.
I let her work it out and saw evidence that we've done right thus far. She knew her limits, and was entrusted with them, and entrusted that she'd work it out and return, which she did. Some part of me knew that she would. *momma relieved sigh*
Now, to get on with the day. Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day!
|The witness, who fell out of a chair & |
was scratched severely by Porter (she insists on getting in his face)
during the whole fiasco.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
The last week of March I spent in a low-grade-fever-haze of coughing, hacking, peeing, and packing the house. I would never, ever wish that on any woman. Ever. Somehow I've attracted an impressively busy situation yet again, it seems that when we're in a state of change it can't be simple.
So, I released Miss Monkey (and myself) from all her homeschool obligations 'cause it was just too too daunting a task to add into packing. The girls spent their days mostly indoors (sad) simply playing among the chaotic stacks of stuff in/out of boxes. They made it play though, with collages, mommy-baby doll outings, and lots of other imaginative play.
Mid-week there was a crisis from a mistake I made in a quasi-feverish, pregnant haze while half asleep early the morning before movers were to arrive. Which moving company called to confirm and pre-authorize our card? I found out a bit later it was the wrong moving company. I spent a few hours in a panic, coughing and crying at some random grocery until the situation mostly resolved.
The right movers came, we hauled most clothing and food to Miss J's basement---we are blessed with yet another beneficent lady opening her home to us. Expecting up to a 3 week stay in a frenetic Rocky Mountain spring creates logistical packing nightmare. Installed at her place I can rest after the townhouse had been cleaned. Incredibly grateful for momma friends who cared to come help for a few hours at a time.
Then Easter, we spent at church, simple egg hunt, and dinner with our hostess....and short stints of napping that I might really begin healing the illness I'd been fighting.
The first week of April we spent in some discussion regarding the land lady's apparent resistance to returning our deposit. Part of me wants to give her a seriously insulting, possibly profanity laced, piece of my mind....the Higher Conscious part of me knows that it's sad she mayn't have the money, it's even sadder that maybe she feels a need to lie, grasp, and live in sustained personal fear. Part of me wants to take her to small claims court, t'other part knows that it might use more resources than it would provide. And so we await her decision. As I type that, I've some visceral irritation at being beholden to someone whom I, we, trusted. I suppose the hurt I'm experiencing is from betrayal, because that's what it is, a betrayal of our efforts and of our honesty. Then I pray it out, give a heavy sigh, and let go....again and again.
As we settled back into our routine here at Miss J's, the little girls mostly adjusted, but obviously would prefer we were at home. As it turned out the tenant, when really threatened with proper eviction proceedings, bailed earlier than expected. The Floor Guys have been working at our house for almost a week, and we expect to camp out in stocking-feet by Friday! The movers are back to add furniture the following day, and I'll be setting up proper household for the next few
days weeks months....but without a prospect that we'll have to move in a year or two, it's much more comforting. It'll be some hyper-nesting happening as we approach the month of due date for Baby.
I'm proud to notice my growth during this process. Accepting what I couldn't change, allowing the Littles to be little without expectations, and accepting help when it was offered. Really, that last bit is incredible. It takes a lot of growth to show vulnerability, to acknowledge that I need it and to accept help when it's offered. Watch me grow!
Miracles are simply the unburying and the
unleashing of God's already-given good.
- Dr. Roger W. Teel