Tuesday, March 26, 2013


In wonderful attempt to be helpful, Miss Monkey started the dishwasher....with the wrong soap. : )

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Just keep moving forward.  Just for Today I have a plan, and if it doesn't go exactly the direction I intend I know my Higher Power had something different in mind, and I'm (generally) okay with that.  : )

Yesterday, after Botanic Gardens, I spent my little free time getting the playroom packed up, closet cleared of everything but sewing (which I'm stalling as there are a couple of projects I need to complete).  Amazingly, I was able to make dinner at the same time, all while wrangling children to help rather than hinder the packing process. (I made a rule, "once it's in a box, it does not come out!")  And let's not forget I'm 30 weeks pregnant.

Incredibly insane the skill level of toy-mixing with these small children!   A giant game of memory played in the space of a couple of hours.  I didn't want to box anything that wasn't whole. Puzzle pieces had to be found, parts had to be bagged, all the kitchen play/food had to be located, as did the Magna-Tiles, and SuperStructs (great use of reusable grocery sacks not in rotation)....which meant for a day they were all sitting idle as the pieces could be located among the discarded random bits of paper/felt/trashtoys/crayons/markers/small-sparkly-whatnots that inevitably surfaced.  I'm grateful I thinned it all out months ago after realizing they couldn't keep it tidy---there was just too much, and believe me, we don't have nearly as much as some houses I've witnessed.
A short note on simplicity:
I've said before I appreciate simplicity over batteries, and quality over quantity.  When considering a toy purchase I'm careful.  Is it a naturally sensory rich item?  Are these pieces they'll keep track of? that I won't mind stepping on or finding in my shoe/kitchen drawer/toilet?  How disposable are those pieces should I have a conniption about the mess?  : )  How many different ways it could be used creatively?  If I can think of 3 or 5, I know the kids will think of a dozen more.  When we unpack I'll look through all the toys again with a ruthless eye.  Books are more challenging for me, as I am a bibliophile, I do enjoy having a library.  When I thinned out the toys I thinned out the books as well.  Simplifying selection to one cubby containing books with messages The Man and I believe need strong reinforcement.  Total book volume will get a ruthless revamp as well, and happiest day will be that of the garage sale for charity of choice.  I do not know what to do with books that have been written, drawn, scribbled in though.

The House.  Well the house is a sweet little 60's ranch on a block between a park (yay!) and an institutional grade school (meh).  In a neighborhood we believe will begin to flip nicely based on the posh new development less than a mile away.  We posted our flier, had a few calls, then Mrs D emailed info on her place she's been renting out since the 80's.  She'd already given vacate notice to her tenant before seeing our flier, and miraculously she usually never looks at the community board. Divine Synchronous!  We made a rent-with-option deal with her, signed, paid, made ready to remove carpet and do floors....everybody happy and excited!  

Then the tenant refused to move.  

Many have said, "What? can they do that?" Apparently, yes.  The tenant can claim notice to vacate never received and get lawyers involved, which is what happened.  Our move date has been backed up a few weeks, and we've been gifted the adventure of staying in another beneficent friend's basement, again!  Part of me asks, "how did this happen?"  But my higher vibration kicks in and I'm firm in faith that all is exactly as it should be, we're adventuring in Life again, and we are miraculously cared for.  
I am grateful!

Eye-spying poison dart frogs

Thursday, March 14, 2013

After a lovely day at the playground, post-bath, post-nap, naked toddler in a towel, The First born looking stonily from her bed:
"Do you want to pick out your clothes?"
"No, I want Mama to pick out my clothes."
"Okay, how about these (pants & tee)?"
"NO! I don' want those!!"
"Okay, what would you like?"
"I want Mama to pick out my clothes."
"All right, E, this is was Mama has picked."
"NOooo!! I don' want those clothes."
"Well then, you pick them out," slowly beginning to see this fruitless conversation headed in a beyond belligerent direction.
"NOoooo! YOU pick them out!"
"I tried E, this is what I pick, you asked Mommy to choose for you, this is what I choose."
"Okay, I love you, I tried to choose for you, now you can do it yourself."
"NOOOOO!!!  MAMA DON' LEAVE!!" as if there are rabid angry wolves in her room....which I have to admit it's a decent comparison as F was already confined to bedroom after losing her mind when I asked if she'd prefer a bath or shower.

I didn't want to leave her to the wolves, but I didn't have much choice. After toying with me that she would get dressed, but indecision won out over the urge to escape the room, her caterwauling got the best of me, I had to leave.
After 30 minutes or so, both of them screaming at me when I offered them an apple (figuring blood sugar  might be the culprit), they both eventually made it out of the room.  E needs a hug, and F is fighting her way through picking up the play room.  The burgers are done, and miracles of miracles we all survived and I'm still here.

I need dark chocolate, or a d*mn beer.

Friday, March 8, 2013

THIS is WHERE I BEGAN over a month ago.  And now I get to write about a few things I've learned.

  • It doesn't matter when I meditate, so long as I do.
  • It doesn't matter how I pray, so long as I do.
  • It doesn't matter when or how I get my exercise in, even if it's only 15 minutes, it's worth it.
  • I will always feel better when these three, or at very minimum the first two, are included in my day.
  • When I eat well, it only adds to the wonderful inward climate I've created, and helps to sustain it.
  • Love begets love, in all forms, and on all levels.

I've noticed I'm more aware of those small moments with my girls, with others, those opportunities to be loving...especially to myself.  Taking up those opportunities---even if it's that 10 minutes I get to be Still while people are singing overhead---it's always worth the time.  When I wake in the morning lately I immediately begin thinking about when and how I'll get in my exercise, or when I'll hit the cushion.  I'm thinking on how I'll care for my self instead of the littany of things that need to be done, I attribute this to reinforcing my faith that all really is well, and everything will get done in God-time.
No hurry, no worry.
Happy days!
Day 43
meditation 10
walking all around grocery shopping, and praying, keeping my parenting skills foremost during the whole adventure
gratefully, happily paying bills

Day 42
impromptu "instant" meditation in beautiful warm sunshine listening to children playing---so a few minutes here and there  : )
cardio 40 walking to/from playground with jogger loaded with child & lunch goodies (could add in there packing items & moving things around, too,i noticed that activity took it's toll as I was walking back home)
resting stubbornly on the couch for 45 minutes,
reading Tolstoy
gratefully receiving moving boxes as a gift after reaching out

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Day 41
Meditation 10
Cardio 50 walking + little yoga
Outside with littles for lunch & bike rides
Better today, still rested finished off cold,efficiently handling
dinner & housework grateful
Happily successful homeschooling days this week, so fun to watch
progress after resting the knowledge, it's like magic!

Day 40
Meditation 10 outside!
Fighting cold, eating well
Grateful day

Monday, March 4, 2013

Day 39
Has it been that long already? time does fly does it not? 4 days left.
morning journaling, i disovered it's easier sometimes as I'm in bed laying there hoping that I'm not disturbed for just a few more minutes
cardio 50 spin bike
eating like a horse, *pregnant sigh* rather tired of this version of my body, today when I think on how long I've left for this one I'm considerably put off of the idea....maybe I got the date wrong, or maybe they do, dare to dream.
reading Tolstoy while biking
happy to have our Blessing Bags at the ready in the vehicle should the inspiration strike at the right moment
feeling as if I'm fighting off something head-cold-ish
great huge gratitudes!

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Hapai the Third

This has been almost fun, definitely easy.  Now that we're in the last trimester I've become fairly encumbered with the basketball I'm smuggling, my feet have receded beyond my view, hard to tie my shoes while standing, discomforting other symptoms only mitigated with horizontal rest and exceptional diet, hunger resultant of my cardio activity has been foremost almost every moment, heartburn is becoming a more consistent daily experience, and my innards are really beginning to be tenderized with this little person's antics.

Dieta change? or different gender?  We won't know until the New Person arrives toward the end of May.  The systems check indicated all is definitely well as development is concerned thus far.  I recognize my pregnancies with the girls, differing slightly, had more in common than either experience with this pregnancy. Notes: no serious continual food aversions; actually forgetting for an instant here and there that I am pregnant, thinking I need to hit the gym in a bad way, up until recently as my rotund shape does not allow me to forget; 'morning' sickness was wholly tied into my choice for breakfast (before it was like an all day hangover), my husband has not said to me "you smell different"; even church acquaintances notice that I'm carrying differently than with E, more forward and less outward, I haven't gained as much weight this time, definitely associated with diet.  I feel really good most of the time, other than bodily fatigue, all is well.  If this is what subsequent pregnancies will be like, I could totally do this again---although I'm not especially game to put the strain on my body.  Really happy with the age difference between E and the New One, allowing my body to heal completely, regain muscle tone, and there's a decent gap for E before her world changes drastically.  F is totally into the whole idea of being Biggest Sister. She's excited to help both with E's transition to sisterhood and getting hands-on with the infant, and she's already forming a bond with the baby, still announcing to everyone that mayn't have noticed the obvious right away, "my Mom's pregnant!"

Meditation while pregnant (M.w.P) is interesting, when I get still for a bit of time there's extra kicking & squirming.  I skipped my spring class (SOMAS 601), even though I'd've enjoyed getting it finished, I really just wanted to do the class alone, and that's impossible until Fall.  Besides, with the move happening I wasn't willing to add yet another activity to our already very busy schedule.

Content, happy, healthy, harmonious, and excited to meet this New Person!

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Day 38 (Sunday, today)
Meditation 20
prayer, and communing in online with Mile Hi broadcast
walking 60 outside gorgeous!
chatty with dear friend
The Firstborn made breakfast, and that was fun, then she tantrummed enough to be confined to her room indefinitely for the day
reading Exodus, yes as in The Bible, the Llamsa version compared to the NRSV Green Bible, searching for references of the Jews as slaves, which neither had; both referred to the severe "oppression" but never used the word "slave", we were watching the History Channel's The Bible
also read some Tolstoy before bed

Day 37 (Saturday)
omigawd the cursed screaming & crying lamentations today!
sitting meditation 10 with a warm little body leaning on me, giving random kisses, and while not being still keeping very quiet
hangin' with neat like-minded people for parties and other gatherings, then ice cream treat afterward

Day 36 (Fri)
children slept in (??), walking all about the Science museum
followed by much prayer in the car on the way home (see Mayhem, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khDdRExFF-k)
reading Tolstoy
reclining meditation (focused breathing for a time),
rest, and flat refusal to be vertical for a bit more time
chatting with meeting buddies about newest development with The House
eating well enough considering it's shopping day, but by dinner time, as we're all out at the grocery, it ended with cracker crust pizza

Day 35 (Thurs)
spin bike 20, walking 20
reclining meditation, well 'cause I just didn't want to be vertical any more, which turned to resting
reading ITwtI (Trine), Karenina (Tolstoy)
eating king, prince, pauper---well by dinner I'm incredibly hungry again, I'm chalking it up to my increased cardio activities, The Baby is HUNGREE
prayer and a lot of it
loving and grateful for a wonderful Man who will just hold me and let me cry it out that I feel protected from those Little People with whom I feel like a target some days

Saturday, March 2, 2013

“It is no small thing, when they, who are so fresh from God, love us. ”

― Charles Dickens

And then when they're not so fresh from Source, they tell us exactly what they think about us, and our parenting, and whatever else might be in their way at any particular moment.

I can only rely on a Higher Power's infinite patience, pray it out, in these cases...
and watch videos of sweet baby animals: