Saturday, December 29, 2012

Simple Christmastime

Christmas with photos.

The making of the popcorn & cranberry strand (The Man's first time)...

A surprise gift from Grandma, an evening to the Nutcracker for Momma & Firstborn Daughter...

 BONUS photo with a ballerina!

LOViNTee Packages to be delivered....

Family Christmas at Mile Hi after a stellar performance we had cookies & cider while waiting to visit with Kris Kringle himself.
The Eldest Daughter explaining and directing...

The youngest absorbing the ambiance...

The dads hangin' around procuring refreshment for moms waiting in the line...and enjoying more than a few themselves....

Happy little friends....

Finally!  The chat with Mr. Kringle himself, and hand delivery of her Letter to Santa...

While little sister keeps a safe distance, content with a cheerful smile and a wave....

Pictures with every...



Some well deserved Christmastime snow, that has hung around for days & days with appropriately chilly winter weather...

 Christmas morning joy as Mr. Kringle delivered even late, hastily emailed, requests....

Oh, the anticipation, the enthusiasm!

Thanks to grandma, there is some play make-up for Miss Monkey to enjoy...

We are surrounded by blessings of family & friends, healthy, happy, holiday together---couldn't ask for more I think.  Going forward to the new calendar year the blessings have only just begun!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Pregnant Once, Pregnant Twice, Pregnant Thrice

Yes, thrice, as in third, numero tres, troi.  

I knew before it was confirmed by doctor (of course), and had felt so good I wasn't sure I was correct except for that big missing red flag.  Interesting though how my mind might try and trick me just because I hadn't had "a professional" tell me what my body (and spirit) already knew.

One morning totally random dry heaving...mentioned to The Man, who, while in shock and some periodic discomforting disbelief, handled it in stride.  I was in some denial as well because of this surprise, but the signs were unmistakable.  Eventually, we made it to an OB appointment to chat with Doc and have a quickie ultrasound to peek-a-boo everything is in perfect order (per usual).  There was some discussion about "advanced maternal age" which is some quasi-arbitrary standard by which the medical establishment appears to push more testing and fear into pregnant momma minds.  We said, thank you and NO thank you, to that fear based mindset, all is well, and will continue to be so.

Miss Monkey is totally excited, loudly announcing and re-re-announcing to everyone we know, and trying sometimes to get strangers to ask after the subject by petting and hugging an kissing my newly (barely) protruding belly.  That was a short while go, now I'm fully into "beer gut" phase---the phase when, to the unpracticed youthful eye it looks like I've been hanging around keggers for a few months too long.  

Toddleator E is somewhat aware of what's happening mostly due to her big sister's example.  Both The Man & I have remarked that it's almost as if she knew she was a middle well before this occurrence  she's exceedingly silly and innocently sweet (most especially when her sister is misbehaving).   I am intermittently concerned about her adjustment this spring, but know that that is out of my hands mostly.  I will simply do my best to be present with her in some simple ritual every day (like naptime has become).

Another word for God is "SURPRISE!" and we are so blessed I can't be grateful enough.  Another spring time baby, our timing must be a little off though as this one seems to be slated for late May rather than early---I'll have to take this up with The Man. 

Happy Day!

:  )  A

Christmas Meaning

From our Christmas Mindfulness Questions
Day 1: What does Christmas really mean to me?

Truly before I had a baby it meant more about gifting and generosity than spiritually.  Now that I have personal understanding of the miraculous gift of life and consciousness Christmas takes on new meaning for me.  Especially since we have such a wonderful spiritual community to share it all with the whole season has snapped into a new dimension.  I still get a big charge from gifting to friends and family, I love surprising someone with a gift that has been brewing in my mind for months.  I adore shopping for Toys for Tots drives,  and the Angel Trees.  It's so fun to model generosity, to get excited, and keep the "gimmees" away.  This year, without means, I had to surrender any expectation of what I might purchase, work with The Man about how much/when/what we would purchase (practicing Unity of Purpose)---I couldn't plan a thing, surrendering totally on yet another level.  Would that I had infinite supply at my disposal in the form of money all the time and I might try and gift everyone all year long.  I want to do more, I always have wanted to do more, be of service in a bigger way.  Fortunately I recognize the power of the Spoken Word (b.k.a. prayer) and I do have an infinite immediate supply of prayerful abundance words for the world. (got a thrill of joyful goosebumps just now)

I know the history of Christmas celebration, the cobbling together of all the pagan/christian/roman/nordic symbolism that has become what we covet today, and I bring it lightly into conversation with my kiddos so they'll understand the history and significance rather than doggedly following without understanding.  I really appreciate and identify with the symbolism of re-birth of Christ Consciousness, our highest self, newly created, newly arrived, completely un-spoilt, beautiful, brilliant and wondrous---the way we all are when we first arrive here.  That's what "keeping Christmas well" throughout the year means to me, embodying that loving, compassionate, high consciousness every day of the year.  We don't have to let the outside material world determine the inside, we can reclaim this newly birthed beauty every moment, every day by simply getting still and Knowing the I AM is within always and all ways.

Happy Christmas!
: )   A

Letting Go

From our 12 days of Christmas Mindfulness Questions:
Day 4: What from the past year do I need to let go of?

The financial mistakes we've made---and I release them with joy and gratitude for lessons learned, looking forward to working within our means for the future.

After more than 2 years of trying to fix it-fix it-fix it NOW, and effectively martyring ourselves on the debt we owed we finally admitted we were powerless over our situation, what we’d been trying hadn’t worked, the situation was truly unmanageable.  Then we came to believe that we needed Higher Guidance, prayerfully made a decision to turn the solution and outcome over to God.  We’ve taken an extensive inventory of our debtors, and of our property, which when written out was horrifically out of balance. I gratefully realized we’ve been living pretty darn responsibly, having bought nothing new that we couldn’t find used or cheaper for several years now.  We’ve sat with The Lawyer and confessed all our shortcomings, signed all the paperwork, and asked that the shortcomings be reorganized, and relieved (b.k.a. Chapter 13).  Our amends will be in the form of payments to a trustee over the next years, additionally, continued living amends to our financial relationship, and our relationship with each other in regards to finances.  Going forward we’ll seek to understand what we need, to make an abundance plan (b.k.a. budget), and prayerfully & meditatively act within our means.  

Happy days ahead, debt free!
: )  A

p.s. I confess it feels incredible to know that gifts this year are paid for in full already, there will be no haunting of Christmas Past for 2013.
I do plan to write, I expect to write, I intend to write...then I jot down ideas I want to hit upon, then life happens and I get involved.  This morning I figure I'd sit and write then had to take out the recycles 'cause my timing has been off for the past month or more--I finally had to phone the company to ensure I had the correct days on the calendar.  Follow that snowy trip to the curb with a realization that the garage was totally out of hand, I was compelled to reorganize, and finally I'll Today though there's big snowy weather, and while we're not trapped by any means, I can make good on my intentions with just an hour, and I'll feel better having gotten an outlet for some creativity.  It's less than a week to Christmas, we've enjoyed a too-brief visit from the grandparents (due to ensuing snow storm), the shopping is complete as far as children are concerned, and there are gingerbread houses & cookies sitting around thanks to Grandma.  Now that there is some real snow, I'm happily in holiday mode.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Great Thanks Given

To our quietly simple Thanksgiving holiday (that I kept meaning to post about).
Thanks given all around, it was too fun reveling in the sweetness of talkative and excited little girls at our small overflowing table.  It was a blessing and we are blessed.

Many topics to address as much has happened, I know I'll get on this eventually, what with new pregnancy it seems even small things are pretty tiring lately.

Happy, joyful, free.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Why Homeschool?

My #1 reason---> freedom:
"With their lives no longer revolving around school hours, homework, and the school calendar, these families plan off-season vacations, visit parks and museums during the week, and live their lives according to what works for them."

My #2 reason:
Spiritual education connected with worldly education.  IMO We've gotten too rabid about separating religion from government(read:public schools) neglecting the truely organic necessity as human beings that we will believe insomething.  

My #3 reason:
Watch this vid if you haven't already, "Changing Education Paradigms":  

and then the general stuff....
Pros & Cons:

My current favorite as you know, so here are some link of reviews of Enki (the homeschool reviews sight looks great for checking out other curricula):

There are tough days, but most days I am so grateful.
: )  Ada

Friday, November 16, 2012

Creative lunch

I got an, "oh, cool!" For lunch today.
Simply worked with the items on hand. Sometimes it's all in stripey rows, or an alien face, when I make it just a little bit fun more "happy plates" there are when lunch is over.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Mysticism of Motherhood, from My Experience

This is a project/talk I did for Science of Mind & Spirit Class: Practical Mysticism, please comment, let me know what you think.

“Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.” (Thackeray)   Apparently, there is little history of spiritual leaders and teachers discussing motherhood.  Not surprising as most of the female mystics were nuns of one sort or another, certainly not having children. With the overtly paternal nature of most religious traditions is obvious why mothers haven't been "on the mystic scene" much at all.

The first time I became pregnant I violently regained control of my life. The pattern of ruthless control repeated the second time, with somewhat more emotional trauma as I understood more closely what I was doing.  I was denying the divine touch in my life.  Denying any possibility of growth and change, my decisions firmly rooted in fear. 

I met my husband and we decided time was right…but with babies even “ready” still isn’t Ready.  Because how does one really prepare for a miracle?

When my first daughter was an infant I was struck one afternoon with a vision of infinity stretching from behind me through to her and beyond, as if two mirrors faced each other.  We were connected as we are all connected. I fell to my knees and cried.  Whenever I feel the quickening of purest love for my daughters’ personhood here, that is essence of God-love. 

The mechanics of conception, development and birth are explicable to a point.  Two irreducibly complex cells come together to form a zygote, then an embryo, and a fetus, eventually a baby.  But the soul, the spirit that comes with that unique combination is INexplicable.  It is miraculous.  In my experience, that new life is proof of union of spirit and in that is the union of the great I AM miraculously re-created.  What he and I have given them will be within them always, but they are at once the genetic progeny + the environmental progeny + something more.  It is that something more that confounds and is mystical by its very existence. 

With my pregnancies I felt (although undefined) a certain unmistakable growth spiritually as well as physically.  My first was a traumatic level of surrender to something larger than myself, loss of what control I imagined.  My second was somewhat easier as I knew essentially what to expect, but the growth still happens, over and over and over again, I learn lesson after lesson.  Parenting classes and introspection have been my timely guides, absolutely necessary when faced with a miniature mirror of my self.  Ultimately it all boils down to love, and love melting into love.  I never guessed I could love with such utter abandon, throw myself totally into self-improvement that I might better embody what I want for my children. 

“God knows more about love, care, forgiveness, in one second than the best mother that ever lived knew in a lifetime.  And if mothers can love and forgive and care and be tender, try to imagine what the nature of God is.” (TFOM p.134)  I couldn’t imagine that nature, not until I became a momma.  I’ve experience heart-rending epiphanies about human kind, our love, hate, fear, jealousies, and more—but mostly our love for one another.  I remember being astounded to recognize that all mothers love their children the way I love mine, albeit with differing actions.   I recall (more recently) the predilection to be drawn into the “Mommy Wars” where personal discernments turn judgments upon others—we mommies sometimes forget our commonalities.  I remember realizing all at once that god- love is like a child’s love for a parent, it never runs out, never changes, never dissipates, it is constant to the core of constancy regardless of behaviors.   I recognized in the throes of learning to mother, I wasn’t sure I could accept this amount of love, I wasn’t sure I was I worth this Love. 

Coming to terms again and again, leads me into newer areas of personal growth to assure that this relational love remains healthy, intact as a sounding board for all future relationships.  With my Momma role, I have had to balance my needs versus theirs, with balance came the in depth search for my identity beneath “mommy”.  I’ve learned to prioritize my energy use toward particular pursuits, though I’ve yet to reach an ideal, I know I’ve time to learn.  Managing my pursuits, those of my children, balancing all this in a basic 24 hour daily cycle has been the most interesting challenge.  Spiritually speaking I’ve matured more in the past 6.5 years than I had in the previous 28, I’ve mommydom to thank for that.

A few lovely, thought provoking quotes:

Judaism finds "motherhood" in both its abstract notion of generativity and its more intimate motif of caretaking to be a compelling vehicle for understanding and relating to God.

“A woman may also give birth to her own creative work, in which she has had to plumb her own depth as a woman and labor to bring it forth. The work comes out of her and draws from her talents and experience, and yet it has its own life.”

“Our children bring to our lives an abundance of special moments: their birth, their first smile, their first word, starting school. But caught up in a fast-flowing stream of thoughts we miss so many of the more everyday moments and, indeed, the potential for every moment we spend with our children to be special. Awake to the depth and texture of the present, we open ourselves to appreciate and enjoy them more.”

“How often I felt my failure to enact boundless compassion and immeasurable patience. Through becoming a mother I irrevocably lost the realm where compassion for all beings is visualized from a retreat cabin….Gradually, however….I began to see mothering as a great practice opportunity….As I cooked in the cauldron of motherhood, the incredible love I felt for my children opened my heart and brought me a much greater understanding of universal love. It made me understand the suffering of the world much more deeply. This has been an important thread for me, both as a practitioner and as a human being.”

Creating (including procreation) is a yang or outward-moving aspect of the 2nd chakra, while intuition is a yin or inward-moving one. While for intuition we absorb energy or ‘data’ into our energy bodies (which is partly pulled in by the centripetal nature of our 2nd chakra), while creating a life, a painting, or composition, or anything else, we push it out into the world, apart from us.

Thanks to
for quotes and additional inspiration.


Yay!  there will be a 4 year respite from political ads after today (lovely battleground state).  Hopefully people will go back to loving their neighbors and being kind and thoughtful to each other without the constant barrage of negativity from varying parties vying for one's votes.

So, I voted, no I didn't get a sticker.  I can only say, "meh".  I did it 'cause I honor the women that fought for my right to vote, and I have daughters that need to understand the process and the community responsibility of  [presumed] representation.  So that's what we did for morning lesson today.  But otherwise, I am disillusioned about the whole process, sad about the divisive nature it causes in our country, and though I vote I already know that the more things change the more things stay the same.  Seen The Campaign or The Other Guys ?  Both poke "fun" at the reality of the system we've in place.

What would happen if no one voted?  would the electoral college then dissipate and the office remain unfilled? What persons comprise the electoral college?  Here is what came up.

"Electors are often chosen to recognize service and dedication to their political party. They may be State-elected officials, party leaders, or persons who have a personal or political affiliation with the Presidential candidate."

And this is disturbing a bit for me:

"There is no Constitutional provision or Federal law that requires Electors to vote according to the results of the popular vote in their States. Some States, however, require Electors to cast their votes according to the popular vote. These pledges fall into two categories—Electors bound by State law and those bound by pledges to political parties."

That is all.  Happy mid-week!

Saturday, November 3, 2012


Love heals all wounds.
Forgiveness is a loving act for oneself and the other person.
When I lovingly forgive I gain freedom from the past, releasing it, such that it won't affect my present or future.

Choosing not to forgive is tantamount to choosing not to heal.
And why oh why would one choose not to heal? choose to keep a wound?

Seems egoic, grasping, and un-divine to me.
Just a thought.
Light & love,

Breakfast with squirrels

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Our Hallow's Eve

There was another meet, a Halloween Party, trunk or treat for the homeschool connection, another Halloween party for Toddleator E at her little school, then carving pumpkins squeezed in, and finally tonight the real trick or treating happens and we're spent.  How on earth did Halloween get to be such a crazy busy holiday?  It's not even a "real" holiday either, meaning not a bank holiday.  Though I have to say the day was  really nice.  Wednesday are our total home day, we don't have to get up to be anywhere, it's a beautiful fall day.  I made killer pumpkin waffles with cinnamon syrup (which, now that I think on it, The Man may have tossed the remainder--booo).

Masks on, costumes donned we headed out and about our community to Threaten Tricks unless Treated.  People were very generous as it seems there weren't many kids out, Miss Monkey's bucket was full and Monka-doodle's sack was weighing her arm and slowing the toddler speed down another notch.

A fun and happy occasion for all.

There are ALL the pumpkins carved for the occasion, 2 extra from a party.

What you see here is a nice healthy smoothie "enhanced" with Hallow's Eve candy.  : /

And now, bulleting into November, fall is a season for change and many changes are occurring.  I'll have more on that later I think.  For now, I'm grateful and joyful, for we are so blessed.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

I love silence.  It's an incredible gift.  We have stellar neighbors, one of which has today taken the Littles for almost an hour while I've been able to sit quietly and write a little, do some picking up, and listen to the lovely sound of silence (even if the dryer and dishwasher are going).  A couple of weekends ago, The Man took Little Girls walking about and to the grocery, and all I did was sit quietly for the whole time.  I did a meditation, and simply sat.  It.was.lovely.

I'm getting better at recognizing these wonderful, simple, random opportunities to get some self-care in while I can.  Grateful great gratitudes for growth!

Halloween Gym

It happened this weekend I volunteered a Halloween party for the gymnastics gym.  I was a Floor Monitor, keeping small boys from using found weapons or spreading the pit foam about, quipping loud "hands to yourself!" when needed and dashing little hopes at injury by forbidding the p(arallel)-bars & beams.

The boys ran around in packs playing what appeared to be tag-em or shoot-em games.  The girls tried lots of tricks they aren't allowed to during classes and smaller knots of them grew and dispersed randomly.  There was a haunted house that sounded exactly like something I do not want my 6 yo in (maybe in a few more years).   Mostly older grade school and early high school kids, predominantly female.  Which made it easier to explain to F why she didn't need to be there (not to mention the multiple other activities for the weekend).

At some point booster moms walked about with bowls of candy causing screeching and clamoring.  There were handstand contests (won by the elites of course), limbo contests, and costume contests.  About 20 minutes after the candy handouts the activity reached a frenzied fever pitch of manic proportions and shortly after that I noticed kiddos surreptitiously dealing candy out to kids that didn't have anymore.

Candy, sugar actually, is like crack for kids as we well know.  I've noticed distinctly that right before the sugar crash happens they always go searching for more.  After 2 solid hours of phrenetic activity and sugar consumption, they were all sent home to sleep it off.

Always an adventure.
: )

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Delicate subject of pain

A dear friend recently remarked on "a belief in better living through chemistry".

I felt a little sad about that, partly that I know it's how most people approach life.  A consistent, vaguely desperate, outward search for a solution to discomfort they feel.  Avoiding the solution of focusing inward, finding the root cause, and properly healing.  From my experience emotional pain and physical pain can be equal in intensity and just as damaging if healthy healing attention isn't paid.

We have the amazing capacity to feel such a range of emotion, such a range of pain.  It's not always a bad thing.  I've come to believe that emotional pain and physical pain directly embody growth and change.  Growth and change are good, especially if I'm learning with it.

If I attempt to dull the pain of an experience I inadvertently truncate some aspect of my human experience.  For example, if I don't feel all the way into sorrow, how can I then stretch entirely into my joy?  For me the pain of childbirth was natural part of becoming a mother, I accepted it and I believe I'm stronger for it.

This is my human experience, I can think of no reason to limit it with avoidance mechanisms like media distractions, stuffing habits, or unnecessary medication (self or otherwise).

We are durable creatures, we are built for magnificence and enlightenment, don't rob yourself of a extravagantly full human experience with petty distractions.

Love On.
: )

Monday, October 15, 2012

A- autumn glory
B- being
C- change (Choose Having A New Growth Experience)
E- everything and everyone
F- flowers for Little Girl's mourning
G- girls giggling together
H- high and mighty gold in the hills
J- jokes of the 6 yo random knock-knock variety
K- kites
L- love of every kind, especially the random acts
M- money management
N- nonsense
O- oranges
P- people
Q- quietude
R- rest
S- silliness
T- trust
U- umbrellas
V- vicissitude
W- water
X- xenophilia
Y- yoga pants
Z- zebras added to the menagerie

Be grateful, it magnifies the moment aids in present-ness.  Just be grateful.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Tragedy of Feline Porportions

Yesterday 4am my alarm going off as it always does but I have been responding to it rarely.  I frankestein-monster myself downstairs to catch it before everyone is awake.  It was playing Awake My Soul by Mumford & Sons.
I heard a ruckus outside, cat yowls and crashing.  Siddius Kittius didn't come in when I called him, after I stuck my head outside & called once hearing the noises again, I figure I had better go out and see what's up.  I paused to put on boots, hoodie, grab flashlight.

Outside in the moonless early morning, I "skskskss" again for the cat, sense a motion off to the left, shine the light.  A pair of glowing marbles look back at me and the shadow begins to lope away as I approach the scene.

Poor Siddius, curled slightly, breathing shallow, not moving.  I picked him up and brought him inside, went to wake The Man.

On our tile his breaths continued to be shallow for a bit, he eventually calmed and appeared to sleep.  He knew he was safe.

The Man & I debated at length about what to do, the prohibitive cost of repairing a cat vs. the less prohibitive prospect of euthanize of course Miss Monkey had to be involved.  Siddius never moved from the place I laid him, we wrapped him and re-wrapped him.  He was in pain, let out a groaning sigh now and then.

We woke Bigger Little Girl and told her what happened.  The Man and she prepped to go to a local 24 hour vet clinic I had to stay behind as Toddleator E has been experiencing a rather daunting fever.

Off they went to say final good-byes to Darth Siddius, we were all sobbing off an on.

And the grieving began.  I miss that little cat's presence over and over and over.  He was an incredibly sweet cat.  Attacking feet, chewing on toes, knocking things off the counter and sill chasing flies, chasing dogs out on the path, he'd come running running running when I sat out to call him in after a ramble.  Porter misses him, they played Bite-Face-Huggie-Paw the last time as a friend & I looked on chatting about pros/cons of letting cats out.

Repetitively all day with Miss Monkey talking about feelings, "I feel so sad...", that it's normal & natural to feel sad because we loved him so very much.  Letting her emote in her own way, completely.  I think the habit is too much to stop  it, to attempt to fix it, to medicate with with distraction.  These feelings are necessary to allow the moments to pass in a healthy way, eventually the hurt will subside if we feel all the way into it.

More later on this, and last pic or vid when I find it.  Right now I've a gymnast to rangle.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Cheesey goodness

Oh the rewards of bravery with their "pokes" this week. Courageously she choose to get vaccs all done at one time instead of going back for repeat (therefore little sis did too).
We delayed a lot longer than the recommended schedule.
Doc complemented our diet & sleep habits, as well as the mental prepping I had done with them about the shots.  You see, I won't lie to my kids, my line is "yes, it will probably hurt, but it will pass and I will be with you the whole time."

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Sunday, September 9, 2012

First week--Done!

Yay for us!

The week went as intended, with little to no resistance from Miss Monkey and only one serious outburst from Toddleator E.  I'm glad activities were layering through the past couple of weeks rather than all at once, that would've been overwhelming.  Completed beginning Language Arts stories, though I may have to adapt for her advanced nature with writing, and get the key word journal set up proper.  Mid-week will probably be a Home day in entirety because as the first week was an indication we'll really need the break from running about on Monday & Tuesday.  Here's to intention that we'll be successful keep it "sacred" so to speak.

Toddleator started with the  Enrichment Center which she calls, "Mine school! wiff Mine Friends!"  A few hours that Firstborn and I get to spend together alone, maybe adventuring, maybe hangin' at the library.  And I have to add a Wow! to our local library system, can drop books at any county library, and check them out as well with the same card---Cool! 

Miss Gymnast-Monkey had her very first official USAG meet this weekend.  She was crushed that she didn't win a thing.  Tough competition with almost 100 other little girls all doing the same routine, some of them doing the same level the second year, I understand.  But F, she doesn't understand yet.  I knew it was coming, and I knew it would be dramatic.  She still hasn't asked about her scores, and I'm not going to bring it up unless she wants to start down that path.  We did video her so she could see her performance.  She works so hard, and all of a sudden it was "I hate meets!  I don't wanna do gymnastics anymore."  All in her processing, it came out as somewhat beligerent emotional vomiting on the way home.  We decided to let her sleep on it and then re-visit as needed.  And I'll have to search for children's books that address via storyline the aspects of competition, win or lose.

Happy weekend!
: )

she really was happier than she looks
happy girl!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Miss Monkey Knit

She's definitely enjoying the finger knitting much more than crochet!

A shift

And then there's a shift...some taste in the air, just a tinge of palpable temperature or moisture.  Not so much to do with getting school running again, the prepping, the excitement, the anticipation.  This is an inward knowing that the summer is moving on.  Out the window this morning, while Miss Monkey practices handwriting and we chat about Little Falcon's story, I enjoy the proof that autumn is slowly making her presence known.

There's always a part of me that resists, and there's a part that is excited to see what happens next, of course there's a balance (generally).  I've learned that with each moment, seasonal passage, each phase of life's dynamic equilibrium, when I'm fully present stretching out and feeling into all the crevices of passing moments I am less likely to mourn the passage of time.  I'm not perfect at this practice cause perfection doesn't exist the way we may think.  Practice makes progress, and I'm all about progress.  I'm incredibly thankful that I have this insight so early in my lifespan.
Happy day!
: )

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Some Enki notes

"...growth is a process of moving from the known to the unknown, which entails working with dynamic tensions."

Body, speech, and mind....
all three awarenesses are part of the human experience at all times from birth to death. However, there is a flavor or texture that underlies the quality of learning and growing in each phase....all the are always part of us, we will only have the automatic, open access to the full scope of each awareness in its own time....during this time it is our job to nourish and strengthen the capacity; only then will we be free to draw on each gift as needed in adulthood.

...there are always moments of gap or fertile space, in which virtually anything is possible.when we notice and make use of these they become times of grace--when growth and change are possible in any capacity, regardless of history.

When Learning becomes collection, not connection--delight is lost.

...conceptual work actually undermines the full physical/neurological development, experience of wholeness, and the ability to openly absorb the natural tasks and gifts odd early childhood...highly academic program because focus is on building foundation which all academic learning depends.

Ransom Box Update

Hooray for the newest mechanism of empowering my kiddos to take care of their things and make contributions to the household!  I *heart* the Ransom Box!
Miss Marvelous Monkey chose to do SEVEN ransoms t'other day.  Included wiping baseboards, 10 hugs n' kisses for Mama saying "Only Turkeys leave their toys out," wiping inside of vehicle, reading quietly for 15 minutes in her room, cleaning windows/mirrors upstairs, and a couple others.  It's easier and more fun when my reaction to her ransom demand is smiling dramatic incredulity, "What?  that's not fair!  you always pull things you like to do!"  She completed them all in reasonable time and chose 7 items out of the box to replace in our newly organized play/craft room.

Even Toddleator E is in on the game, though she struggles a little with the requirement of doing something in order to get what she wants from the box.  Of course in her case I might modify the demand, making it somewhat simpler.  The last slip she drew was yelling "I love my mama, she takes care of me!" 10 5 times.

This weekend I will prep for starting our first month of home's-cool, and The Man and I will celebrate a little for our 9th anniversary.  Happy holiday weekend!
: )

Owl Pellet!

Sunglasses used for scale, replete with bones amidst wadded fur.

Neat-O.  Of course Miss Monkey wants to keep it, and so it sits on the patio drying on a piece of foil, awaiting future investigation.

Friday, August 31, 2012

Death at the Door

There they are, eyeballin' their next possible tribute.  Twice last week I found offerings on the front step, narrowly missed stepping on a fresh vole.  No sign of chewing, I assume that's Darth Kittius' first offering to us, usually Porter enjoys at least a bit off his tributes before sharing.  A day later, a smattering of feathers and a piece of entrails drawing flies---my main concern, having gotten used to the lack of insect annoyances here, it's unfavorable to suddenly have a bottle fly banging on the windows.  Worse still, Darth enjoys chasing them in his still-kitten way, felling photos and spreading countertop items to the floor in the process.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Pond Study continued

The water is pretty low, making it easier to walk all around the bank. 
Earlier this spring we counted up to 15 ducklings from two families, and at least 7 goslings (nested in a planter barrel in front of our building).


I got to take advantage of a free yoga class last night at the shala I have been coveting from afar since we moved here. I will take their teacher training some day soon.  Whatever was bothering me before that practice was miniscule by my blissed countenance afterward.
I have a God box, wherein I place prayers as I have done for more than a few years.  It is knocked behind my bedside table periodically by rampaging cats. When I found it today I thought I'd play my "what did God take care of?" Game.  I shake the tube until some prior prayer falls out, take a look at what I wrote, then marvel at all the prayers answered.  This time I kept at it and realized there were much more in there answered than not, so I figured I'd do a little god-box purge.  It's pure peaceful joy seeing how everything really does turn out well, I am cared for, I am loved.  Everything I put to God is well taken care of, all time every time.  And when I come to a scribbled prayer I consider needing more time, or it's for some one I still hold in love, I read it consciously and give it right back to the god-box.

And then a toddler pooped on the floor, and my bliss was detoured somewhat. Geewillikers, do I dislike carpet!

So it goes. Happy day!
: ) 

Tuesday, August 28, 2012


I left the grill on....
days ago?

Actually I don't even know when I was trying to cook that corn.

*Sad sigh*  Guess I'll have to broil the fish tonight. : /

Squeezing our the last bits of summer.  Layering on the activities week by week.  It starts with daytime schedule gymnastics, plus Connection day with Woodrow Wilson, and Toddleator's enrichment center day, then add in our home's-cool curriculum and we've a complete system.

But where oh where does  momma's time get to fit?  Something will manifest, I know it.

Sunday, August 26, 2012


While some inward things sifting through my spirit this past week....

The visualization came to mind of a pendulum, the very long kind I remember from childhood hanging from the ceiling in the science museum.  So slowly moving back & forth in harmony with the Earth's movement.  It was mesmerizing for me, comforting to watch that evidence of our movement, within movement, within movement, through the cosmos.
When I am in operating in harmony with a Higher Power I move like that pendulum, deliberately, with ease, and without effort.  Now and then, some occurrence or some person bobbles into the weight.  It spins and jumps wildly out of balance with it's intended ease of movement, crazed and directionless to observers.  Eventually, it will return to it's original motion.  But this takes time, and patience, and growth with learning.

I found myself so weary yesterday, and this morning.  I only came upon the right word by bibliomancy with a Creative Ideas book.  "God is my strength" it read.  I do forget this often.  When I get so busy that my spiritual life atrophies, I end up searching for fulfilment elsewhere.  Usually my form of self-willed solution involves more and more and more activity, until I'm so busy doing that I am not a being here at all.  I begin my days and weeks then full throttle, teeth bared, grinning desperately, pushing so hard that a complete melt down is inevitable.  I've grown to know this pattern, and I saw it happen most recently as I inadvertently laid off my typical spiritual practice, and went full speed ahead into some new thing I've no idea whether it'll work our or not.  Also, I've no idea whether it's part of my flow & I'm struggling with fear of the unknown OR I'm totally out of sync with god-the-universe.
More will be typical form I wish it would be revealed faster!

I've a new idea of the phrase "home is where the heart is" now.
Happy dreams.
: )  <3 p="p">