Saturday, January 7, 2012
The Toddleator has been brought into the "Uh-Oh, bedroom-time, you-can-come-back-when-you-can-be-sweet/friendly/gentle" song. If she doesn't like what I'm saying, screams over and over in obvious defiance as I'm talking, it's "Uh-Oh". If she's not listening to my request of "stop" usually related to safety or mitigation of messes, it's ""Uh-Oh". If there's excessive hitting, it's "Uh-Oh." Throwing or spitting food, it's "uh-oh." Recently she's been really pushing her limits, and I have to remember 1) not to warn her over and over, 2) not to lose my cool--it's too entertaining.
One day this week, a little trip outside I used "All those who listen to mommy can stay outside longer." Incredibly, she processed the info and came right back to me. Sometimes it takes a solid 5 seconds before my direction has been filtered through her ears, into the head, trickled down through her body to the toes, then back up to the brain to be received...it's the processing time I've also got to remember. Toddlers don't think as quickly as adults or bigger kids, they're still forming all those neural pathways. So, it's my discretion whether she's being defiant or the information hasn't percolated enough yet.
Darth Siddius--yes I'm aware it should be Sidious, but really prefer our spelling 'cause it's too close to the word insidious, and didn't want to prematurely label him Kitten of Doom. Anyway, Darth Siddius has proven quite a test of listening for the Younger of The Two. We find ourselves in almost constant verbal cycle of "put the kitten down please...that hurts kitten...no touch kitty please...all done kitten," repeat, repeat, repeat. I've noticed that if he really doesn't want to play he'll run away from her, if he does and plays too rough then she'll run away from him (in tears of course). They will eventually work out some balance. It's highly unusual for small children to really hurt an animal, especially if the animal in question can squirm, scratch, and bite enough to defend itself if in discomfort. The Firstborn learned her lesson with Porter...eventually.
Miss Monkey's tantrums have definitely subsided from the early changing-of-method fireworks.
She hates when I reply, "Maybe so" when she says "This is/You're stupid!" She'll yell at me, "Stop saying 'Maybe so'!" *win*
As she's stomping and screaming up the stairs, "Hey, could you be a bit louder? I think the neighbors missed that one." She screams, "No!" *win* ---also works in public.
When she curses, and she does say something like, "I think she is/you are sh*t!" lately only while already in her room. "Oh, thanks for your creativity, you can come out when you're sweet." One day on an errand to the bank, this came back on her, she wanted a lollipop. "Oh, you know, sweet things don't come out of your mouth, sweet things don't go in." It was doubly sad when baby sister did get a lolly. *win*
At my last Love & Logic Class I asked if it's permissible to keep a notebook of poor decisions awaiting consequences. I found it difficult to keep track of delayed consequences, i.e. refusing to contribute to household one day might mean not going to the park a couple of days later, my memory mayn't be that great in some circumstances. So I started the notebook and decided I needed clarify to Miss Monkey it's purpose, and since then haven't have to use it at all. *win*
I love that when she wants something at the store, I simply ask if she brought her wallet. Today all I had to do was utter a quiet, "uuoohhhhhhh" and the immediate look I received was a *win* and then total compliance.
My favorite phrases lately:
"How do you think this is going to work out for you?"
"I think that's a pretty poor decision, pretty sure it'll work out poorly for you."
Happy Momma here.