Thursday, February 10, 2011

Attack of the Migrating Super Poo

She hadn't gone in a day or so, and it happens when I least expect it.  Thinking it was just any ole' diaper change, maybe a bit bigger than normal I was totally unprepared for what I unwrapped.  At least I had presence of mind to start the process in the bathroom.

Pulled off baby's pants to discover poop smeared down her leg.
Um, okay.  Guess I'll revamp my approach.
Un-snap the turtle neck of her shirt, peek down her back, and see more mess squished up and out of the diaper.
Hmm, well lets see how bad the damage really is.

Upon unsnapping the diaper wrap I.am.amazed.  SO MUCH POOP.  I had already handed Baby E something to keep her little hands busy whilst I attempted to mitigated the mess, I know that poop washes off it's still unnerving to find poop-icing wisp here and there as I'm trying to keep little one still long enough to frame a counter attack, all the while the main goal is to keep the poop away from her mouth
Meanwhile she is happy as a clam and only fusses when I make negative "AaaGH!" noises 'cause I didn't move the decimated diaper out of arm's reach fast enough and her chubby paw now smeared with sticky poop.

Okay, measuring my options now. The bathroom floor is littered with poopie pants, poopie towel, uber-poopie diaper splayed open, poopie baby shirt, and a barely manageable squirming poo-smeared 9 month old.  Keeping a wary eye on that poo smeared hand, I step over everything to the tub and start the water---wait! remove the sticky tub-mat, I don't want to clean every suction cup individually after this fiasco.  

Water running?  check.
Water temp okay? check.
Poo-Baby okay?  check.
Wait! poopie-water pooling in shallow end!
SIT baby at other end.
Baby slippy-slides on her bottom leaving a poopie trail, back to the pooling water.
Move baby again to opposite end.
Slippy-slidey baby flips over and crawlslips back to running water to play!
Aagh! Move baby again, re-check water temp....START SHOWER! yeah, that's it, I'll start the shower!
No shower curtain hanging up, but that isn't stopping me now.
She is still a happy baby even as I'm holding her up to the shower spraying off as much poop as possible.

Eventually back in the running-water bath, I finish cleaning out the chubby creases, give her a good wash n' rinse with a cup, and then holler for Miss Monkey to assist with clean towel retrieval, who is very prompt and helpful, and summarily entertained by the whole escapade.  She whooped with laughter as did I alternately with exclamations about the shear amount of poo to suddenly come from such a little body.

Started to think, what kind of diaper would have contained this?  The answer is none, this was utter diaper overload.  The Poo That Will Not Be Contained pays a visit to every Momma, then she can share her Legendary Poop story for years to come. 
So, I'm off to finish rinsing out the leftovers and get some much needed laundry started.  

1 comment:

leslie said...

thats a throw the clothes away kind of day.