Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Recently in a conversation with a friend whose children are fully into adult hood, we touched on the subject of "the mom I want to be".
I remember a childhood searching the racks of greeting cards for something suitable to send the absentee biological father. I was never able to find anything to my liking because none of them would have been honest, and why send a card that lacks honesty? It's an empty gesture, useless---when I receive one it borders on insultingly comic, and I feel somewhat saddened the sender and I aren't more connected. Most cards describe idyllic scenes that I felt I never really had. I find it impossible to send a card that lacks honesty, it's important to me that words, even in a store bought card, have some reality to back up the idyllic fluff.
So my friend mentions that she's happy to receive cards from her adult daughter and is fully accepting of them because she knows what the card says is true.
I want to be that mama. When I get the Hallmark card in the mail and it's reminiscent of "sunny afternoons, kissed away hurts, and homebaked cookies", I want to know that it's more than accurate.
I want to be the Hallmark Mom.