A short bit about the Oscars.

I don't recall it being so crass and low-brow in past years, but then I haven't watched in a long time.  I'm only passingly interested in the fashion, and feel a gossipy need if some star makes a complete fool of themselves.  Otherwise the Oscars have no attraction for me.  This past Sunday we tried to watch a little, and on several occasions The Man & I looked at each other in askance, "is this really supposed to be funny? for a broad audience?" We both agreed, "No, certainly not."  It sounded like a roast of the actors instead of intelligent wit. Sad and embarrassing to watch.

I did not appreciate having to explain what "boobs" meant to my eldest daughter, because of the one minute they were exposed, and I'm glad that her questioning did not extend past "that man meant, he saw her breasts?"  Because, explaining how or why actresses choose to do nudity in film is not something I'm ready to discuss with a six year old, nor is it something she's mature enough to understand.  The whole presentation, supposedly the pinnacle of the cream of Hollywood talent, was a total disappointment.  I'm glad I haven't wasted any more time watching and do not plan to watch next year.

I have to admit though, They accomplished one goal....everyone seems to be talking about it.  So, good for them, god'll love'em, and happily we'll go on without participating in that fiasco.

p.s. The Superbowl half-time Show was another example of objectification of women...a powerful woman, a one-dimensional performance that I felt sorry for letting The Firstborn watch.

Balloting

Yay!  there will be a 4 year respite from political ads after today (lovely battleground state).  Hopefully people will go back to loving their neighbors and being kind and thoughtful to each other without the constant barrage of negativity from varying parties vying for one's votes.

So, I voted, no I didn't get a sticker.  I can only say, "meh".  I did it 'cause I honor the women that fought for my right to vote, and I have daughters that need to understand the process and the community responsibility of  [presumed] representation.  So that's what we did for morning lesson today.  But otherwise, I am disillusioned about the whole process, sad about the divisive nature it causes in our country, and though I vote I already know that the more things change the more things stay the same.  Seen The Campaign or The Other Guys ?  Both poke "fun" at the reality of the system we've in place.

What would happen if no one voted?  would the electoral college then dissipate and the office remain unfilled? What persons comprise the electoral college?  Here is what came up.

"Electors are often chosen to recognize service and dedication to their political party. They may be State-elected officials, party leaders, or persons who have a personal or political affiliation with the Presidential candidate."


And this is disturbing a bit for me:

"There is no Constitutional provision or Federal law that requires Electors to vote according to the results of the popular vote in their States. Some States, however, require Electors to cast their votes according to the popular vote. These pledges fall into two categories—Electors bound by State law and those bound by pledges to political parties."

That is all.  Happy mid-week!

A

Struggling at the moment.  Let's list then:

Hungry?  Possibly, haven't eaten that well considering all I'm craving is lovely sweetbreads.

Angry?  Maybe a bit, it appears I'm letting people who make choices that don't involve me or my little family affect me---{sarc}what? really your life doesn't revolve around me/us?  Which in turn means I need to get still and do some nurturing for my inner life... we've been extraordinarily busy doing, and I think my spirit is taking issue with the lack of simple being.  The Toddleator decided to wake when transferred from the vehicle upon arrival after dropping The Firstborn at gymnastics, and so my little solitude for the day has been sabotaged.  And, snagflabbit, I've got stuff to get done!

Lonely?  yes, perhaps.  I haven't been getting much quality time in with dear friends, just once this summer I can think of thus far, starting to feel like the summer is melting away and we haven't taken great advantage of the beauty around here.  Why though?  'cause we're aiming for that house...which hasn't happened yet...in turn frustration that this isn't on my timeline.  Struggling to keep momentum and energy around LOViNTee, pretty lonesome there, I need collaboration and input, and a well funded outlet for ideas.
And neglect of my inner spiritual life would generate loneliness, which is subtle and I don't always notice the effects until I find myself in the throes of gnashing teeth and wailing, asking, "what is wrong with me?!"

Tired? not really, given my strangely restful weekend.  Some ways though more sleep does not help me, I tend to use it as an escape.  In this case it's hard to tell though, I think my body is fighting something hence unusual (of late) sinus-ey, headache feeling, and slight ear pressure.

then there's Hormonal? uhm, possibly, but most likely not, timing would be off.  Exercise has been great the past couple of weeks as well.  Though yet another area where I'm feeling pressure to get on a training plan, but have yet to get a heart rate monitor which I believe to be the next evolution to my training (rather than RPE based plans)...so yet another amorphous holding pattern.

Achk.
I did sit outside with Littles for their lunch, listening to them patter about in the grass and make-believe all sorts of non-sensical fun.  There's a big purple chalk Happy Day on my patio.

WHAT IF everything will be okay?
Indeed.

I think maybe I should get a reward when I'm able to get a workout in with these little people in tow.  Today after much waiting round for them to finish a last minute snack (that I now realize I should've used to make sure the gym bag was packed) we finally made it to the gym....but only after I wasted another 1/2 hour trying to get music into my swami phone, successfully completed; however, would've been smarter to ignore the Verizon BS that popped up when I plugged the device in.  Hindsight, no?

My new running shoes just begging for a tryout I was excited, until I realized I wouldn't be able to get in everything I aimed to, kidsclub just not open long enough.  No matter, run some anyway, new kicks need a break in period so kept it short, besides finding that I forgot my water bottle I was forced to keep it short.  Head to locker room only to find as I unpack for a swim that I've left my towels at home...nothing to dry off with, unless I tried using my pants but as they're fleece I didn't think the absorbency would serve.

I give up.

Upside:

New shoes are awesome, but will require more focus on run form as they're lower profile than anything I've used before.  Got to get E to nap with little trouble, and listened to F excitedly read another BOB Book from the library.  "Wow, that's cool, I'm actually reading it!" she said, pausing between pages.  SO FUN.

Why I hate The Lion King

Yes, I've seen the whole movie.  My little sister watched it non-stop for a year or so as a small child.  And now I have kids.  I know I can't protect them from everything, most especially I'm aware that I cannot control what they'll see at Kids Club.  The young girls employed there know how I feel about children's movies.  If the screen must be on, I hope they put some thought into what the littles are absorbing.

The Lion King's entire plot is based on a murder.  It doesn't matter that the whole thing comes around in the "circle of life" in a glowing rainbows & bubblegum pure Disney style. There would be no story if Uncle Scar hadn't committed fratricide.

If this was a story using real people, or kids, instead of cute friendly lions, would it be appropriate for little kids?

No.  At most it might be all right for young adults.

I appreciate the classic Shakespearean drama story line, but find little value in the "circle of life" afterthought when I've had to accept murder as the main driver of the plot.  The true circle of life doesn't include murder or betrayal.  Most disturbing to me is that it seems most parents will overlook this and feed kids' minds (more subtly, their souls) with this crap.  Several years ago, that Disney thought that it was okay to show kids their worst fear, loss of a parent, is disgusting and terrible.

And if one's mind immediately goes to the "I watched it and I'm okay" or "that's just the way it is", please re-examine.  If it doesn't add value, or teach a Truth about our human lives, or worse if the message is so garbled by complication and drama---why add it into an already jam-packed media life?

I want to set the an example of simplicity and ease with life, and it really can be simple when we allow it.  Keep it simple with kids, it's easier on me and on them.  We cannot complain about what we get out of our children if we are un-conscious about what we're feeding these little beings' minds and souls.

Dear Fellow Patron...

Dear fellow 24 Hour Fitness patron,

While I appreciate that your dogs are “doing their job” as living alarms hanging out in your car, they are extremely aggressive.  It is an excessive challenge to wrestle small children and babies into a vehicle while crazed German Shepherds lunge from neighboring vehicle’s windows.  Please look at nearby vehicles in the future, check for infant seats or child boosters, and park farther away.  As a responsible dog owner, I know you’ll understand.

Thank you.

Oh the feelings that were induced with this incident.  A visceral fear, an anger that any-mama would understand.  It's the second time I’ve exited the gym to see this vehicle parked next to mine under rare shade of the gym lot. I stared down the slightly smaller canine in the back seat, but the larger one wouldn’t calm, I actually raised my hand as if to strike and watched the reactive animal become even more agitated.   A gentleman with an air of Police Officer in (my guess) an un-marked car witnessed the entire scene.  

He asked, "Are you okay?" 

I replied, “Yes. I think so. But I don’t like it.” 

“I don’t either,” he said.  

“I’d like to say or do something, but it’s a parking lot, I mean, really [gesturing to space] what could be done?”  

It actually flitted through my head to mask my fear—incredulous my internal dialogue became, “what?? of course I’m scared and I should be!”  The man in the vehicle offered me some mace, I refuse because I understand that the dogs are doing what they’ve been trained to do, to react with fight or flight anger.  I am not a basal animal, and I can respond with greater thought and compassion.   I had to wait a few moments before I wrote the note though.

Fish Stickers

It's that time again, time for crazed family gatherings, overeating, overspending (although the media loudly proclaims our dire situation), SNOW...where IS the snow? We almost broke a record for late snow. If it hadn't snowed by the 21st it would have been a record, but we got a dusting night before last, so no record. This time last year it was already accumulated somewhat, if I remember correctly we certainly had a snowy Halloween.

Now, re-learning how to speak, or rather how to speak effectively to a two year old takes lots of mindful practice. It cannot be done overnight that's for sure.
"You don't want the toast?" is completely lost on a toddler. Stating the negative (even as a question) will plant the suggestion that she truly does not want the toast, and I'm stuck having just told her that she doesn't want what I'm trying to get her to eat or do. Instead, "Do you want the toast?" usually followed by some tasty description of how good it looks, or simply leaving the toast (or other item) out for her, eventually she'll make her way to it. Then of course there's the complimenting of what a good job she did eating, getting dressed, sitting still, using library voice, etc. Catch more flies with honey than with vinegar---positive reinforcement works wonders.

"Don't stand up!" vs. "Stay seated!" is another communication error, I gratefully remedied early on. Little children must first understand the positive of the statement before they can connect the negative. So, telling an 18 month old "Do NOT stand up" all the child registers is "stand up". "Stay seated" is much more positive and certainly easier for a toddler to understand.
I've realized that positive communication is handy with adults as well. Speaking in the positive, being aware of my semantics, simple changes in my words, "bad" & "good", replaced with "unhealthy" & "healthy." Learning how to say what I want or what the goal is rather than focusing on what I don't want. I have found it much easier on the psyche, less energy-sapping to focus on positives, instead of constant maintenance blocking the negatives.

Telling a toddler what is not allowed is most effective to create a caterwauling child, especially if her goal is the opposite of what I had in mind. However, if I pair it with what she CAN do, then she is distracted with what I've just provided as a new challenge or option, and problem solved. I can fold the laundry, clean the surfaces, remediate messes, in peace. If I really want to distract Little Girl I'll tell her what she CAN do, without mentioning at all what I'm avoiding, a modicum of control without overt display of control.

A small rant aside---
Consider this modicum of control with a governing body. Much of the time we are so concerned with making absolutely sure that we can do something, writ by law, that we forget in defining what we can do we are also defining we cannot do. In turn this creates more and more laws, a bigger government happily telling me how & what to do with my health, money, & time---'cause apparently I'm not smart enough to figure it out myself.

Leaf Leaping

I will not talk politics. I will not talk politics. I will not talk politics. I hope everyone has done extensive homework. It's almost over! Happy election day!
_____________________________________________________________

WHY do we have to rake leaves? I thought that the dead leaves protected the little grass, then nourishing it in the spring when the thaw begins? I really don't understand, but I've never had a "lawn" in the suburban sense, as a kid we had a "yard" I wouldn't classify it as a "lawn", & it's still a yard today. But I raked the back yard/lawn of this house anyway, 'cause then we get to JUMP in.


Maybe, if there's a layer of leaves, it's slick & rotten & nasty after all the snow starts melting? But still doesn't that dry up? making a natural mulch? I'll have to research this.
**edit**
After conferring with my local expert I learn that it's necessary to rake the leaves 'cause patchwork grass (read: laid sod, coastal, stay-green-so-the-neighborhood-looks-pretty) does NOT grow here naturally. So, to keep it alive--although dormant--'til next year, it must be raked.

It's happening again!

The leaves, the LEAVES!! This time last year we were bundled up already. The acclimation has occured, I'm still in slippahs and jeans with a tee, at 40 degrees.

This past weekend we visited Georgetown took the little narrow gauge train up a few thousand feet to see fall colors. Alpine smells, mossy rocks, big rocky-rock-rocks ROCK, crisp & clear blue, some freezy rain to boot! Big swaths of gold through the evergreens. All the leaves haven't quite turned yet, just a bit around the edges here and there. But up at 9000' elevation things are definitely underway toward winter.
Slowly rebuilding the 'puter, slowly really settling into the area, the house, etc. still lots to do though.

If you ever need to entertain a toddler, it's easy to get caught up in the ideas that kids need all sorts of in put all the time. They don't, nor do they need all sort of automated toys, bells n' whistles out the wazoo. Simple is better, in all things in fact, most especially toys. Paint + moving box = playhouse, furthermore = happy entertained toddler exercising fine motor skills, creativity, conversation, and of course the sillyface. Take that Made-in-china toy-mafia!

Gone babies, all gone

SO...that's that. it's FUBAR, the hard drive that is. Now I begin the process of rebuilding what I had, HAD, in my computer before the hard drive f*ckin' had an apparent freakout and meltdown. HP replaced the drive, fine, but I wasn't as current with my backups as I should have been. Now, also, begins the mourning process for all the little movies that are lost, all the photos that I wanted to print and frame, fckfckfck FAHCK! Not to mention the occasional future "fachk!"s when I realize that there's something done-digi-disappeared on me for months and months to come. Oh, good-ie.

Dia del la Mierda del Gato

Or if you prefer..."Jour de la merde de chat" sounds more sexy-pretentious, no? Maybe "Giorno della merda del gatto"? Oh, "Tag der Katze-Scheiße" 'cause everything sounds mean in German. Or how about "День дерьма кота" just for sh*ts n' giggles?

First let us review the CAT. His name is Porter, we adopted him on Oahu, he started thinnish, now chubby, but always been spotted like cow---except when he's been dyed blue. After some initial trepidation Gary has completely given over to this cat, it is an understatement to say that the man would be crushed should something happen to the Pookus MacDookus. Which is odd, considering The Man is technically allergic to cats, and is an admitted prior cat-hater. ANYWAY, we have a special super-kewl-neato-fer-sure Litter Maid auto-box with kitty cabana (ask me sometime about Gary trying to assemble that thing). Now this may be one of the only times I will adhere to what the advertising on the box says, regarding using only litter maid litter. We've tried others and it literally doesn't work as well, smell, dust, clumping, etc. The litter maid litter truly is better with this particular sh*t box. It is expensive though, and so happens that a lot of it is wasted in the machine's raking process, I've devised a method to 'save' it somewhat. Part of my afternoon was spent sifting cat sh*t. The rest of my afternoon was spent shifting Porter turd from my clothes, here's why;

Fiona likes to close Porter-kitty's closet door (where the litter box is located), sometimes poor PK gets stuck IN the closet as she has closed it when he's cabana-ed doing his bizness. Before we left for the race in Utah, The Toddleator had closed the door and we neglected to make sure it was open before departure. When we returned home that Sunday evening Porter was beside himself with kitty glee, I opened the closet immediately and briefly searched for cat smell throughout the house. I caught a whiff in my closet but it dissipated and I chalked it to paranoid nasal hallucination. This morning however, my vain attempt to find things that still fit in my closet led me deeper into the first shelf than I had been in a while what with the tri-clothing getting most of the attention, articles that no longer fit simply being ignored and buried...I grabbed a shirt, then the cat pee smell wafted and out flew several dessicated cat turds. I looked closer, and still closer. The realization hit me, and all I could do was chuckle some, began singing "the cat shit in my closet" song. At that point I didn't have the time to clean it all up---besides it was going to be a closet overhaul and I needed more than the insane, frantic fuming attempt would have produced at that point. So, after Little One's nap time I took my time with the disinfectant and deodorizers sorting out the clothes, cleaning everything, more laundry to do (still may not be redeemable clothing though). I glimpsed the large piece of bark Fiona had adopted during a walk, and the idea that "holee goodness, it's everywhere!" flitted through my mind....then I recognized the mulch chunk for what it was. The damage was contained on the one shelf, luckily. Cat piss in one's closet is a super-closet-cleaning motivator! I can be grateful that this didn't happen on Kauai where everything mildews...it could have been so much worse.

In other news, the phrase of the day is "Mommmy, mommy, heolp itt", in use when asking for help with an item OR when attempting to help me with a task. Yesterday's phrases were, "mommy gotch-yoo" and "babee gotch-ooo". The Toddleator asked me for a diaper this morning, I asked her if she wanted to sit on the potty, "Jeasss" was the answer...and voila, poop in the potty! She was proud, I think.

That's my day today, lots of poop, sh*t, doo-doo, doodle, feces, scat...
Mommy or not, Here I Am.

Windshields & Toddler feedings

It snowed a bunch last night, kept me from going out for Moms night out with MOMS Club. Very disappointing. Today, I learned all about the de-icer stuff I'm supposed to have in my windshield wiper fluid. It snows, the snowplows roam about dropping de-icing stuff, most road snow melts, making muddy slush thrown up in car-wakes just like when it rains. Driving on the highway with a really dirty windshield, into the sun, the vehicles ahead only resemble shadows...I got off the highway. At every stop I hopped out, grabbed some snow and wiped the drivers' side of the windshield. When I found a gas station, a really pleasant humor-driven exchange between me and the classical gran'pa behind the counter took the edge off my ignorance. Alas, whatever remained of my original wiper fluid was frozen in the bowels of my car, clogging the intake for the wiper sprayers. Would that I had a $100k car that had the pipes wired with the defroster, I know they exist. By the way, can you guess what a snurd is?

Toddler feedings can be intense. This of course depends upon your level of involvement. If one has reasonable expectations then all will be well, damage is minimized. Otherwise, a giant mess, a toddler that hasn't eaten, and a terrible headache.
We recently revamped our strategy switching from separate all-inclusive high chair to table-side high chair (just like those in the restaurant) with a splat mat. The Peg-Perego we had been working with was just fine for the house on Maui, and the house in California...but it was just too cumbersome for this place. Splat mats are fantastic, everyone should have one, I might even slip one under Gary's chair. When something spills it's easier to clean up if it has fallen on a plasti-coated canvas mat, instead of our less-than-a-year-old-rug. Now, I just need to work on my spill reaction---meaning my reaction to the Toddleator's self-feeding antics. (Her latest is taking sips of milk only to spit them into her water cup.) I just haven't gotten comfortable with the notion that whatever she spills won't be too hard to clean up, 'cause it's on the splat mat! My reaction is still geared to "o-sh*t-there-she-goes-again-another-big-mess-I-have-to-clean" or the ever simpler "g'dammit!!" Which really isn't the best impression to give someone trying to learn how to feed themselves. I worry that I might instill some ridiculous fear in her of spilling things, or worse yet, teach her to think less of herself and worry too much about me. Along those same lines I try to react reasonably to other normal toddler antics, like tantrums, semi-messy explorations, and dangerous explorations. The fact is, I've done well enough so far that when she's exploring something she shouldn't be, and I react too harshly, the little girl just goes to pieces. Now that may be a phase, but I'm hoping that some of it sticks around. I think all children innately want to please their parents, looking for acceptance from the first humans they know and love. "Mother, is the word for God on the lips and hearts of all children."

I hope that we're able to show Fiona consistency with love and acceptance, and discipline (the teaching, guiding kind, not the spanking kind if we can help it). How would you feel if someone hit you just because you were having a bad day and needed to show it? (Now this refers to very young children who aren't developmentally capable of intentional misbehavior) *sigh*

An aside, if mother is the word for god, is it any wonder masses of people agree with vengeful god ideas when they were taught at such a young age to fear their personal gods, their parents?

Toy rant and the fluffy stuff

Why is it SO difficult to find toys that aren't made in China?
I already know the answer(s), outsourcing, cheaper labor & materials, blah, blah, blah. It doesn't alleviate my frustration though, AND it has caused me, on more than one occasion, to question Chinese motives. They've capitalized on American Capitalism, have they "one-upped" us? A country that can "do" capitalism better than we can?? I think we're outnumbered.
Even the 'European' toys, designed in Switzerland, Germany, or Holland, are manufactured in China. One of my favorite toy-sites at least has the awareness to post a list of all the toy makers' design location versus manufacturer location. Of course, the toys that are designed & made in the same country are a bit more expensive than those made in China. Have you ever been to a Mills' Mall? Colorado Mills, Grapevine Mills, Katy Mills, etc. They're everywhere and if one were to look at the manufacturer labels attached to items in those malls, overwhelmingly it's all made in China. It freaks me out.

ANYWAY, It's snowing again, I think that's the 4th time since we moved that the fluffy white stuff has covered the ground here. And you can bet I'll keep talking about it well into January or later. It's such a NEW thing for us.
We've played in the snow some, took a walk in the park early Sunday morning. Washington Park is even better covered with snow. Unable to see the trails, curbs, driveways, it's just one gorgeous open space, covered in powdery snow. There were plenty of people out that morning with their dogs, Fiona would loved to have trotted across 2 acres to visit with the boisterous puppies, but Gary had safety in mind---and he's right, a bite to the face when The Toddleator is in the wrong place at the wrong time is worth avoiding.
Fiona's getting used to putting on all the gear before we go out, I'm getting better with keeping track of the hats, gloves, mittens, snowsuit, and coats. I'd still like to purchase a winter baby-sack that fits with the jogger so that we can go for walks. I haven't yet tried jogging in the snow, though I've seen plenty of people wearing all manner of gear, and some with just shorts & tee-shirt---wow. It looks like fun, but with out the right stuff I'm betting parts of me would freeze and break off. (Note: jogger snowshoes at right)

How many times can Fiona say Mamma in a day? I've no idea, but sometimes I start wishing she would say anything else. Mostly her dialogue consists of, "Mamma, mamma,mammamammamammamammamamma....puppieee, cTaht (cat), puppieee....no, mammamammamammamammamammamammamamma, cTaht, cTaht, puppieee, PAAPPAAA, Papa....meaow, meaow, mamamamamamamamamamama, mammiee...MAMA...
NO, noooooo, no...baahh-byyye." repeat, and then some. Those are her favorite words. I think maybe anxiously awaiting her to talk was, well, misplaced. BUT, it's fun to hear her babbling about everything, pointing and talking about what she sees out the window (mostly snow lately), when she sees something out the car window she has to get my attention to then sign what she's seen. Fiona has begun combining signing with talking, signing phrases, and then there are the times when she gets distracted from her original aim, and after she's got my attention her dialogue sort of wanders off to neverland. She likes to pooch out her lips when she wants a kiss, and will immediately start calling for her Papa when we arrive home after some errand. She's a tiny tenacious, vivacious, little person. She's got a moment to moment agenda, it's mesmerizing to watch her play. One of her favorite things to do lately is diaper, clothe, and feed her stuffed animals. I think it's about time for a proper baby doll!