This Year

Last year this time we were beginning the search for another place to live, and preparing to file bankruptcy. This year, we've redefined our finances and successfully, and gratefully, been living abundantly.

This year we moved (again), and made firm decision to live in This House for the forseeable future, we are purchasing, and stretching out into the permanence of our decision. Interestingly this material permanence has produced interior growth and shifts.

This year I succeeded in homeschooling my firstborn into reading and the 4 arithmetic processes, then spring came as did the bouncing baby boy, and lots of learning for the Little-Big sister as well as the Big-Big sister.  It became painfully apparent in the fall that homeschooling wasn't serving her, my energetic resources were stretched too thin. The school we enrolled with has been a serendipitous blessing. Her favorite subjects at holiday break are handwork, eurythmy, and spanish.  Observing her this Christmastime, she's grown immensely, the space created with her attendance to Mountain Phoenix has allowed she and I to travel more parallel than crosswise.  With a whole new community to explore and connect with, she and I have had our work cut out for us---for me especially amidst learning the means and methods of brick-and-mortar school.  And I've mourned the change, still do when I come across some curriculum material.  I've fallen in love with her again, she's really a magnificent little person.  She's lost teeth, gained a new kitten and a couple of hermit crabs, gotten her ears pierced, left gymnastics, learned to knit, started soccer and is excited about volleyball.

This year, Little-Big sister, giggly in the middle, has grown into a character of comedy.  While she does push in her 3 year old way, it's been interesting watching her roll into her role.  With a break from her big sister she's grown into her own person bit by bit, has her own community of friends at MHCEC.  Lovely have been the afternoons driving to the pick up line while The Second-born is giggling herself stupid in the backseat making baby brother laugh.  It appears she's about to step up into the preschool room, quite a bit earlier than I ever considered...based on her verbal skills, her ability to use scissors, and dress herself among many other things.

This year, a beautiful baby arrived, he graced us with his presence late May and has been a complete joy.  It must be stated, boys and girls are different from the start.  As soon as he surpassed the first vague interactions, without coercing, steering, or guiding...boys are different than girls.  He has a different personality of course, but I'm noticing, what I surmise, are basic male v. female differences with development and activity and interest.  I find myself studying all little boys more closely, researching this boy-energy.  He's starting to rock, he creeps a bit, and tummy-spins and rolls about the floor loudly babbling his focus or his frustration. Already he has definite opinions about injustices of mommy needing to eat or potty-break. Gratefully he has innate patience when it's necessary to focus my attention on the ridiculous 3 year-old antics.

This year, The Man and I have succeeded in moving the household, straightening out and recommitting our responsibilities financially, getting comfortable and enjoying our community, disagreeing then agreeing, laughing and loving, redoubling our conscious parenting efforts, gracefully growing forward.  I'm so blessed to have this man as my partner in this adventure.

Happily happily into the new calendar year!

Backyard Squirrel Nut Zapper

Sometime post lunch with taquito in hand, Miss Monkey tosses an experimental bit on the patio for Sir Squirrels.  Finding that Sir Squirrels apparently enjoys said taquito (weird), she ventures inside for more options, thinking to bait him even closer to the house.  These squirrels I'm already aware are too comfortable around the patio, one in particular venturing up to the window screen itself on more than one occasion.  Either they've been fed here before, or they're doing recon as the previous inhabitant's dog moved with them.

Mommin'tuition sets me upstairs as she's making her way outside with three fresh apples.  "Um, no, sweetheart, we're not feeding the squirrels fresh food meant for us. I'm not comfortable with them that close to the house anyway, love."  Of course, there's a "Why?" and I render a short explanation of rodent cousins and disease.

She finds some stale something or other and ventures back outside.  A little while later though I hear a vehement, "NO!  STOP IT!!" as if she's speaking to a person.  Glancing outside I spy her looking up into the nearest tree with desperation, "GIVE IT BACK!  Stop!!"  A long streamer of red sparkle yanks up into the tree as she reaches for it.  She hops a little in her frustration and confounded with her options.  "MOM!  The squirrel has my streamer ribbon!"

At first, I'm not really sure what to do, I've no inclination to chase a squirrel to retrieve a dollar store toy, and these are truly natural consequences.  (acknowledging gratitude for base of knowledge not to rescue her)

Eventually, after having the streamer revoked Sir Squirrels gnaws other random kid-detritus then retreats.  Miss Monkey returns concerned she's contracted some disease having touched what Sir Squirrels mouthed.  She takes direction cleaning herself thoroughly and sets about creating a squirrel trap.

The following morning a few hours were totally dedicated to trapping Sir Squirrels.  A wire filing rack was converted with mini bungees and fake flower bait, and a rubber duck dog toy (??) for good measure.  It was such a great simulation a dear friend actually asked to borrow it!

Always an adventure.

Rainbow days

After a storm there are rainbows. I had several phone calls and a

surprise visit from The Man, I took small actions toward
mitigating the chaos, and started to feel better. That momentum built
a good finish to the day and into the next. Amazing how prayer works, even simply in the asking for help there is peace.
There were no giant altercations betwixt the girls, the baby was
typical happy baby, and I got some more done with the house. I forget that effectively we just moved in. Moving, remodeling, requires patience of process.

Grateful for the dojo as an added accountability for The Firstborn and her behavior.

Grateful on the way home this evening we chased a rainbow. F was so excited trying to figure out how to reach the end of that rainbow, I thoroughly enjoyed discussing strategy with her, negotiating where we should turn or of it was fading.

 Grateful for puzzle time with the Second born and soccer time with her sister, grateful for my ability to feed my baby and share my milk, most of all grateful for the abundance we love and live in.

Truly, Life is good, ALL The Time.

Another Spring Day

There's snow outside again.  Colorado springtime means fat snowflakes fluffing all over my truck.  Frenetic behavior of the weather one never knows if it'll be snow boots or Toms---I remember being so confused our first spring here.  So, we've been installed in the house for little more than a week.  The kitchen is mostly in place, and other rooms are falling into order around that hub.  But only barely falling into order.  There are boxes that won't be unpacked until the walls are painted, or there are shelves and cubbies to store items. Some boxes are such low priority I don't expect to see them until Christmas.  The floors turned out beautifully, and though the fumes were almost unbearable for a few days (for me), it's been lovely getting accustomed to the gentle distinctive creaks.  There is much work to be done improving the place, The Man has all kinds of plans and ideas.  He's alternately infuriated and excited about his self-described "new toy".  I imagine he's somewhat stressed out with the very idea of owning outright considering he's the bread winner right now.  With me rolling around, nearly ready to pop, I'm not much use when it comes to unpacking.  I can really only point and direct boxes to their proper and logical locations.  

I've only just today started to check in on supplies for Baby.  Really beginning to feel a bit of mental pressure to prepare.  Shockingly, when I sorted through the outsized/seasonal item bin, I found only four gender neutral items that would work for an infant. FOUR.  Two short-sleeve onesies (one stained but wearable), and two pair of overalls.  The rest of the items were iddy-biddy dresses for 18m little girl, and a few bigger-girl items I handed immediately to Miss monkey to distribute.  Gratefully diapers are totally taken care of, though I'd probably do well to get a shortlist together including newborn onesies and a few newborn pre-folds.  Then there are bigger ticket items that will postpone easily enough (Ergo carrier), or those I need to retract from friends, sadly.  All will come together though and in due time.

In the mean time,  here's a mandala that Miss Monkey designed and colored of her own accord.

F 2013 April

Week In, Week Out

The last week of March I spent in a low-grade-fever-haze of coughing, hacking, peeing, and packing the house.  I would never, ever wish that on any woman. Ever.  Somehow I've attracted an impressively busy situation yet again, it seems that when we're in a state of change it can't be simple.  

So, I released Miss Monkey (and myself) from all her homeschool obligations 'cause it was just too too daunting a task to add into packing.  The girls spent their days mostly indoors (sad) simply playing among the chaotic stacks of stuff in/out of boxes.  They made it play though, with collages, mommy-baby doll outings, and lots of other imaginative play.

Mid-week there was a crisis from a mistake I made in a quasi-feverish, pregnant haze while half asleep early the morning before movers were to arrive.  Which moving company called to confirm and pre-authorize our card?  I found out a bit later it was the wrong moving company.  I spent a few hours in a panic, coughing and crying at some random grocery until the situation mostly resolved.

The right movers came, we hauled most clothing and food to Miss J's basement---we are blessed with yet another beneficent lady opening her home to us.  Expecting up to a 3 week stay in a frenetic Rocky Mountain spring creates logistical packing nightmare.  Installed at her place I can rest after the townhouse had been cleaned.  Incredibly grateful for momma friends who cared to come help for a few hours at a time.

Then Easter, we spent at church, simple egg hunt, and dinner with our hostess....and short stints of napping that I might really begin healing the illness I'd been fighting.

The first week of April we spent in some discussion regarding the land lady's apparent resistance to returning our deposit.  Part of me wants to give her a seriously insulting, possibly profanity laced, piece of my mind....the Higher Conscious part of me knows that it's sad she mayn't have the money, it's even sadder that maybe she feels a need to lie, grasp, and live in sustained personal fear.  Part of me wants to take her to small claims court, t'other part knows that it might use more resources than it would provide.  And so we await her decision.  As I type that, I've some visceral irritation at being beholden to someone whom I, we, trusted. I suppose the hurt I'm experiencing is from betrayal, because that's what it is, a betrayal of our efforts and of our honesty.  Then I pray it out, give a heavy sigh, and let go....again and again.

As we settled back into our routine here at Miss J's, the little girls mostly adjusted, but obviously would prefer we were at home.  As it turned out the tenant, when really threatened with proper eviction proceedings, bailed earlier than expected.  The Floor Guys have been working at our house for almost a week, and we expect to camp out in stocking-feet by Friday!  The movers are back to add furniture the following day, and I'll be setting up proper household for the next few days weeks months....but without a prospect that we'll have to move in a year or two, it's much more comforting.  It'll be some hyper-nesting happening as we approach the month of due date for Baby.

I'm proud to notice my growth during this process.  Accepting what I couldn't change, allowing the Littles to be little without expectations, and accepting help when it was offered.  Really, that last bit is incredible.  It takes a lot of growth to show vulnerability, to acknowledge that I need it and to accept help when it's offered.  Watch me grow! 

Miracles are simply the unburying and the 

unleashing of God's already-given good.

- Dr. Roger W. Teel

Just keep moving forward.  Just for Today I have a plan, and if it doesn't go exactly the direction I intend I know my Higher Power had something different in mind, and I'm (generally) okay with that.  : )

Yesterday, after Botanic Gardens, I spent my little free time getting the playroom packed up, closet cleared of everything but sewing (which I'm stalling as there are a couple of projects I need to complete).  Amazingly, I was able to make dinner at the same time, all while wrangling children to help rather than hinder the packing process. (I made a rule, "once it's in a box, it does not come out!")  And let's not forget I'm 30 weeks pregnant.

Incredibly insane the skill level of toy-mixing with these small children!   A giant game of memory played in the space of a couple of hours.  I didn't want to box anything that wasn't whole. Puzzle pieces had to be found, parts had to be bagged, all the kitchen play/food had to be located, as did the Magna-Tiles, and SuperStructs (great use of reusable grocery sacks not in rotation)....which meant for a day they were all sitting idle as the pieces could be located among the discarded random bits of paper/felt/trashtoys/crayons/markers/small-sparkly-whatnots that inevitably surfaced.  I'm grateful I thinned it all out months ago after realizing they couldn't keep it tidy---there was just too much, and believe me, we don't have nearly as much as some houses I've witnessed.

A short note on simplicity:

I've said before I appreciate simplicity over batteries, and quality over quantity.  When considering a toy purchase I'm careful.  Is it a naturally sensory rich item?  Are these pieces they'll keep track of? that I won't mind stepping on or finding in my shoe/kitchen drawer/toilet?  How disposable are those pieces should I have a conniption about the mess?  : )  How many different ways it could be used creatively?  If I can think of 3 or 5, I know the kids will think of a dozen more.  When we unpack I'll look through all the toys again with a ruthless eye.  Books are more challenging for me, as I am a bibliophile, I do enjoy having a library.  When I thinned out the toys I thinned out the books as well.  Simplifying selection to one cubby containing books with messages The Man and I believe need strong reinforcement.  Total book volume will get a ruthless revamp as well, and happiest day will be that of the garage sale for charity of choice.  I do not know what to do with books that have been written, drawn, scribbled in though.

The House.  Well the house is a sweet little 60's ranch on a block between a park (yay!) and an institutional grade school (meh).  In a neighborhood we believe will begin to flip nicely based on the posh new development less than a mile away.  We posted our flier, had a few calls, then Mrs D emailed info on her place she's been renting out since the 80's.  She'd already given vacate notice to her tenant before seeing our flier, and miraculously she usually never looks at the community board. Divine Synchronous!  We made a rent-with-option deal with her, signed, paid, made ready to remove carpet and do floors....everybody happy and excited!  

Then the tenant refused to move.  

Many have said, "What? can they do that?" Apparently, yes.  The tenant can claim notice to vacate never received and get lawyers involved, which is what happened.  Our move date has been backed up a few weeks, and we've been gifted the adventure of staying in another beneficent friend's basement, again!  Part of me asks, "how did this happen?"  But my higher vibration kicks in and I'm firm in faith that all is exactly as it should be, we're adventuring in Life again, and we are miraculously cared for.  

I am grateful!

Eye-spying poison dart frogs