Offspring Update

Miss Monkey has learned to tie her shoes!  And prefers tying everything else that she can get her paws on as well, I spent an eon of a moment waiting for her to tie the strings on my Thanksgiving blouse.  Little Girl has also decided that she wants a kitten for Christmas. There is hesitation because after all she is 5.5 years old---really, The Man is hesitant, I am all for it.  Santa gives us a tip on where to look for kittens that need a home, set it up that kitty will be here for Christmas morning, and away we go. Learning responsibility caring for another creature is a big deal, and I'm excited for this milestone.  In case Santa had any reservation about bringing a kitten to her, The Firstborn has made him a goodie-bag with a hand made (and much belabored) kitten necklace.  I'm not sure how to feel about this apparent tendency to butter Santa up before asking for what she wants, I need to explore the trend a bit more.  She spent almost an entire afternoon drawing pictures for Santa, adding to the little cupcake sack.  I figure we'll hand deliver her carefully written letter and the goodies when we meet Santa after Family Christmas.  So fun!

She's really been impressing the homeschool Mamas with her social skills in the discussion circle, it's so interesting to see her strengths (and weaknesses) play out.  Watching her problem solving has been amazing lately, especially since we stopped solving problems for her.  F is truly a social wonder, knows everyone in her Sunday class, and now and then laments that we haven't seen so-and-so lately.  It's already a challenge to keep up with the social calendar, I can't imagine what it'll look like in years to come.  The necklace for Santa was especially neat as Miss Monkey apparently when up to the play room with an idea and a plan, then worked so intently that when she finally came to the point of stringing it together and the plan went slightly awry, she needed some calming before she could continue.  She continues to daily amaze me, which means we're on the right track I think.

The Toddleator E has been exploring new areas of expressing herself.  Though picking up new words daily, and echoing much of what we've said, I still have to pay rather close attention to understand the baby-slurred words, and some phrases, coming out of her.  She is too too silly, and makes jokes sometimes at her sister's expense, it's especially entertaining as she mocks big sister when F is having a tough time attitudinal-ly.  Signing has been interwoven with speaking, and I've had to be sure to differentiate between "sign" and "say" when she's attempting communication.  Lamenting hungrily in the kitchen I heard "I-jus'-wan'-eeeeaat!" over and over.  Recently, reported by The Man; Toddleator E heard some gaseous emanation of his, she pointed to his behind and signed diaper change as if asking him, "do you need a change of pants after that one?"

One of E's favorite things to do is throw things in the garbage, "'darge" as she says.  I witnessed her accidentally scattering clothing as she dragged her basket to the bedroom.  I mentioned the clothes sprinkled down the hall, she came right back and picked them up then putting the items in her cabinet.  One of the biggest differences I've noticed thus far, E really likes to have her hands clean, does not enjoy spilling things on herself, and is generally different from her sister this way.  This baby girl really enjoys the sounds that items make, banging, rattling, cracking...when she discovers a new sound she'll pause and repeat the action over and over until she's gotten enough.  Since that day when she joyously and proudly walked 'round the kitchen, she's mastered walking and loves to trot from room to room.  One of the best noises, for us, is that mini-thud-thud-thud of the toddler trot across a floor.  Of course, we run into the little terribles now and then, she is after all a toddler.  I'm a veteran with tantrums now (plus Love & Logic) it's a lot more fun and less work.  She's been Little Miss Contradiction lately, asking for something and then squealing when it's handed to her.  We learned quickly to set things down nearby rather than get sucked into her dramatics.  We have potties strategically ready for the moment Toddleator E decides she's really ready to learning toileting.  Though she'll practice sitting on the potty, nothing has, er, produced yet.  She does however, let me know when she's wet her diaper, then staunchly refuses a change (Contradiction, right?).

Love'em, feed'em, they grow.  It's miraculous, not only that it's truly simple, but that they've their own very particularly individual personas arising that aren't necessarily dependent on my parenting skills.  NEAT-O.

edited to add:  A note about teeth.  The Younger has cut 4 molars just recently and really enjoys using them.  The Firstborn looks forward to losing some, she appears envious when one of her cohorts shows their gap tooth smile.

Dear Fellow Patron...

Dear fellow 24 Hour Fitness patron,

While I appreciate that your dogs are “doing their job” as living alarms hanging out in your car, they are extremely aggressive.  It is an excessive challenge to wrestle small children and babies into a vehicle while crazed German Shepherds lunge from neighboring vehicle’s windows.  Please look at nearby vehicles in the future, check for infant seats or child boosters, and park farther away.  As a responsible dog owner, I know you’ll understand.

Thank you.

Oh the feelings that were induced with this incident.  A visceral fear, an anger that any-mama would understand.  It's the second time I’ve exited the gym to see this vehicle parked next to mine under rare shade of the gym lot. I stared down the slightly smaller canine in the back seat, but the larger one wouldn’t calm, I actually raised my hand as if to strike and watched the reactive animal become even more agitated.   A gentleman with an air of Police Officer in (my guess) an un-marked car witnessed the entire scene.  

He asked, "Are you okay?" 

I replied, “Yes. I think so. But I don’t like it.” 

“I don’t either,” he said.  

“I’d like to say or do something, but it’s a parking lot, I mean, really [gesturing to space] what could be done?”  

It actually flitted through my head to mask my fear—incredulous my internal dialogue became, “what?? of course I’m scared and I should be!”  The man in the vehicle offered me some mace, I refuse because I understand that the dogs are doing what they’ve been trained to do, to react with fight or flight anger.  I am not a basal animal, and I can respond with greater thought and compassion.   I had to wait a few moments before I wrote the note though.

Thank You Gratitude

I'm likening gratitude to a steam engine.  Some days it's challenging to get it going, the wheels might slip with that initial forward chug, but once the momentum has gotten the best of the weight of my activities, gratitude is self perpetuating.  This moment gives birth to the next.  If I fill this moment with gratitude, the next moment can't help but bring blessings.

A is for abilities, of which I have many (apple pie, too, I made for The Man's birthday).
B is for bounty, which will be on our table this Thursday.
C is for cat, Porter is older than the kids. <3
D is for downward dog, yoga-yoga-yoga.
E is for Toddleator E, whose bright silliness fills our moments with giggles.
F is for Miss Monkey, whose imagination, energy, and intensity are sparks through the day.
G is for gymnastics coaches who take my Bigger Girl and have aided teaching her strength and determination.
H is for help, and knowing when to ask for it.
I is for me, and the I Am that I Am.
J is for juggling, 'cause one day I'll know how.
K is for kites.
L is for love, that really does conquer all.
M is for magnets as grateful hearts collect blessings.
N is for night, when those babies are sleeping.
O is for others, those people that change me.
P is for pumpkin, with which I will bake.
Q is for quiche, because it's so tasty.
R is for ribbons for little girl hair.
S is for soup, 'cause Soup Season is here!
T is for The Man, he's totally tops I tell you!
U is for umbrella, as F is obsessed with them.
V is for vibration, and a higher frequency at that.
W is for water, running through my home.
X is for Ximena, who complimented my Spanish accent.
Y is for you, yes, I'm grateful, thankful, for you.

Point of Pride

It's startling for me really, the amount of giddy pride I had bringing Miss Monkey to her first gymnastics exhibition.  As I noticed this swell of emotion I also noticed how I relaxed and stretched into the feeling of pride for my girl.  How much fun I had watching her proudly display her strength with her team-mates!  It was too too funny when she finally spied her friends that came, Miss Monkey tried to wave to them mid-trick on the bar she was so excited.

At the meet we attended over the summer there were many photo-rabid parents hustling each other for the best spot, snapping gig upon gig of photos for their team.  Gratefully this was only an exhibition---I have time before I will really need a swami DSLR Nikon to use for these events (flashes are forbidden and besides the chalk dust in the air makes it near impossible to use one anyway).

The event was in order such that her intensive invitational pre-competitive team was second to last to show, right before the elites that compete seriously.  The strength of these six little girls was obvious, even to a novice eye such as mine. I could see a real difference between the Rising Tigers' strength and the rec[reational] levels that supposedly rank higher competitively.  After 6 months of conditioning and strength, these two great coaches had the girls doing their first real tricks within two weeks preparing for the Mile High Salute to the Armed Forces Exhibition.  The girls got brand new custom leotards for the event, and I happily configured the Firstborn's hair into a cute creation with enough hairspray to sleep in and hold over Sunday afternoon.  Back in the day, she would ask me if she could "make my hair" then spend a long while combing and affixing various clips to my head. Finally she can sit still long enough for me to do some serious learning about this "making of hair."  Who'd've thought, really, that I would ever have to crash course up-do's for competitive sports?

I look forward to more of this parenting adventure, and I gain confidence in our job of parenting thus far---I feel we're doing pretty well!

Got her hair did

affixing ribbons tomfoolery

hooray for coaches!

sister cuties

salute!

 Thank you TIGAR!

"It's easy!"

Has someone ever said to you, "Just try it, it's easy!" and then you find the task they coaxed you into trying is painfully difficult? Did this leave you feeling exceptionally capable or downright stupid…and embarrassed?

When this happens to the average adult, it doesn't take long for them to conclude two things:

• This person who's trying to help me is nuts…and definitely not to be trusted!
• Why should I try if I can't even handle the easy stuff?

Quite frequently I overhear well-meaning parents and educators using the "Just try it, it's easy!" approach in an attempt to urge a reluctant child into trying something they're afraid of. When the child finds the task easy, all is right with the world. When they don't, they're confronted with the pain of seeing that they might be so slow that they can't even do something really, really "easy"!

How often does this need to happen before our kids lose faith in our word? How often does this have to happen before our children lose faith in their own abilities? Are you willing to take this sort of risk with your kids?

Received in a Love & Logic Newsletter, re: Motivating kids to try.

I remember this as a kid, I remember feeling completely inept and stupid because I couldn't master something immediately and I remember giving up.  I think I also compensated by acting a know-it-all, adeptly hiding what I mightn’t know until I could BS my way into (or out of) a situation.

I remember now to avoid saying "it's easy" and instead go with "simple, but not always easy....let me know what you think"----even with adults.